Instructions on Calming Allergies– (thanks to Julio Cortazar)
By Ra Gabriel

Pick your nose. That’s the first way to clear the path, then you blow it. First you have got to give that congestion some room. Imagine congestion on the dance floor of a club, trying to get its sticky groove on, saying, “Give a brother room!” You see?

Don’t lie down. Sit or stand up. Now, if possible, get laid. This step is quite important. Once that blood starts rushing down to genitals those sinuses open up. When you let go, some of that painful pressure should be gone.

If getting laid is improbable, lay oneself (or one’s self, if you prefer). If male, upon semen batch, notice its similarity with mucous. If female, do same, however no like word to “semen batch” seems to exist. Tell that to the gynecocracy.

Press on your nose. Put middle finger and thumb right on the ridge of the nose above the nostrils. You will feel bone. Press in and up (hold at least five (5) seconds & up to one (1) minute). When you let go, some of that painful pressure should be gone.

Notice the construction “should be” used in this manual. Although certain problems should be gone, they probably won’t be. In such cases:

Yell & whine. Break something. But make sure you don’t cry, because crying aggravates the sinus passageway.

Take hot shower. Blow nose in shower. Wipe blood & mucous from hand. If they don’t go directly, kick blood and mucous down drain. Get out of shower.

Then put cream or lotion on nose.

If this doesn’t help, read a short story by Ra Gabriel to try and pass time.