Comments on: moonlight with father o’sullivan http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/06/16/ashtrays-and-wine-rings/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=ashtrays-and-wine-rings Publishing Creative and Contemporary Writing Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:07:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Quasimofo http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/06/16/ashtrays-and-wine-rings/comment-page-1/#comment-186 Quasimofo Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:40:52 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/06/16/ashtrays-and-wine-rings/#comment-186 On reading this poem I was immediately struck with its beat and rhythm. I went back and counted 6 lines written in 2 syllable pentameter (10 syllable lines)--that takes skill. A lot of those measures were surely iambic with the stress on the 2nd syllable. To mix meter with modern poetry (as is the case here, I think) requires much talent and work...very John Berryman in a way...just don't throw yourself off a bridge in Minneapolis (RIP)! Anyway, I am in awe...and the crows are saying "caw-caw"...for my catatonically astounded coma-corpse! Religious symbols are often tough, too, to use originally and effectively...I liked the grinding my horns part which reminded me of Hellboy (new anime out, by the way). The 4th line: "...treading sheets super-soaked with our love sweat." was an integral & genius addition to a concentric metaphor that also used "kiss" (often wet), "toilet seat", "sailboat", and "eye-drops". Thx DIY Danna! On reading this poem I was immediately struck with its beat and rhythm. I went back and counted 6 lines written in 2 syllable pentameter (10 syllable lines)–that takes skill. A lot of those measures were surely iambic with the stress on the 2nd syllable. To mix meter with modern poetry (as is the case here, I think) requires much talent and work…very John Berryman in a way…just don’t throw yourself off a bridge in Minneapolis (RIP)! Anyway, I am in awe…and the crows are saying “caw-caw”…for my catatonically astounded coma-corpse!

Religious symbols are often tough, too, to use originally and effectively…I liked the grinding my horns part which reminded me of Hellboy (new anime out, by the way). The 4th line: “…treading sheets super-soaked with our love sweat.” was an integral & genius addition to a concentric metaphor that also used “kiss” (often wet), “toilet seat”, “sailboat”, and “eye-drops”. Thx DIY Danna!

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