Comments on: You, I

By: Arthur Broomfield

Arthur Broomfield — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 19:31:40 +0000

I was thinking of the Molly Bloom soliloquay.

By: Elizabeth Cortez-Neavel

Elizabeth Cortez-Neavel — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 20:44:58 +0000

By the way, the “she” and the “i” are the same person. Because when making love
fucking
having sex
it is an out-of-body experience as much as it is the most intense in-body experience of all time.

This was a true story.

By: Elizabeth Cortez-Neavel

Elizabeth Cortez-Neavel — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 18:53:19 +0000

I wrote it, but how do I change it to my name. I tried to do that earlier, but I got all confused by my internet again.

Beth

By: savagewave

savagewave — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:08:58 +0000

hey! this thing cut off my last comment! what I wrote was … my smarmy cliché poem refers to two poems; a cliché love poem and the passionate one… that’s “You, I”. so, i hope I set that straight. “You , I” is NOT cliché. m’kay?

BTW, who wrote “You, I”? Anyone coming forward to claim it?

By: savagewave

savagewave — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:04:46 +0000

hey! this thing cut off my last comment! what I wrote was … my smarmy cliché poem refers to two poems; a cliché love poem and the passionate one

By: savagewave

savagewave — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:01:08 +0000

yup. i read it again and there is nothing cliché about “You, I”. if you will notice, my smarmy cliché poem refers to two poems; a cliché love poem and the passionate one

By: savagewave

savagewave — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 02:08:17 +0000

well, my REAL comment would say nothing about cliché. just my stupid cliché poem does.

this poem actually is stunning. no lie, i was actually sitting on the edge of my seat with my nose an inch from the screen reading so fast so i could keep up with the passion. when i was done i wanted my husband. now.

By: fogman

fogman — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 21:46:06 +0000

looks like “cliché” is the word of the day. its funny, I can read this poem again and again and never see it that way at all. so yeah, I guess the writer did pull it off – at least for some.

christopher – you keep putting that much time, effort and intelligence into a critique and I can’t see anybody wanting you to shut up.

By: softserve

softserve — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:38:34 +0000

i think alot of this poem is very cliche, but i feel you pulled it off. i agree with a lot of what christopher said, but i liked the hard nipples b/c it really caught me off guard.

By: savagewave

savagewave — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:34:38 +0000

I read the poem
that speaks of love
and I laugh because it is foolish
and smarmy and cliché
and the one about passionate
hard deep sweaty
‘entertwined’ …was this deliberate?
bed sheets in a mess
the dripping
and I blush
and then get angry
because its so explicit
and I cry because
we don’t have it
anymore