Comments on: life and death…a buoy http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/07/10/and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us Publishing Creative and Contemporary Writing Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:07:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Dave Grill http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/07/10/and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us/comment-page-1/#comment-247 Dave Grill Fri, 13 Jul 2007 19:45:07 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/07/10/and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us/#comment-247 Ein Bruchstück für Sie becca, verpassen wir Sie, Ana und mich auch. Not the dream world this, not strung together in a necklace life of perfume and wishes. This world has fingers. Filled with wet sand and shaking slightly gracias para el poema, su trabajo es siempre cada vez mejor, pero yo me olvido mi español porque el alemán estorba. Dave Ein Bruchstück für Sie becca, verpassen wir Sie, Ana und mich auch.

Not the dream world this,
not strung together
in a necklace life
of perfume and wishes.

This world has fingers.
Filled with wet sand
and shaking
slightly

gracias para el poema, su trabajo es siempre cada vez mejor, pero yo
me olvido mi español porque el alemán estorba.
Dave

]]> By: Quasimofo http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/07/10/and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us/comment-page-1/#comment-246 Quasimofo Fri, 13 Jul 2007 19:25:33 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2007/07/10/and-no-one-expects-us-so-dont-expect-us/#comment-246 Reads reminiscent of 'Howl'...juvenile spirits trapped between aesthetic and moral man with a gas-gage on soul..broken. 1st 6 stanzas put forth the questions/rest of the poem states the evidence...put forth with the tenacity of a Ginsberg... The poem bounces like a 'buoy' describing adventures of quests for some elusive happiness that is not water-proof. I thoroughly partook of the 'biographical guts' of inner-struggle here...occasional rhyme makes for good change-up. If it was me, would have come up with synonyms for storied and compartment in stanzas 2-3-4 (but that's just me...). Loved 4th stanza: "is his four million storied sun dipswinging splitmouthed knocked out on bubbly wishing for blowjobs no money". THX Oscar Smiles! Reads reminiscent of ‘Howl’…juvenile spirits trapped between aesthetic and moral man with a gas-gage on soul..broken.

1st 6 stanzas put forth the questions/rest of the poem states the evidence…put forth with the tenacity of a Ginsberg…

The poem bounces like a ‘buoy’ describing adventures of quests for some elusive happiness that is not water-proof.

I thoroughly partook of the ‘biographical guts’ of inner-struggle here…occasional rhyme makes for good change-up.

If it was me, would have come up with synonyms for storied and compartment in stanzas 2-3-4 (but that’s just me…). Loved 4th stanza: “is his four million storied sun dipswinging splitmouthed knocked out on bubbly wishing for blowjobs no money”.

THX Oscar Smiles!

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