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another Lucy

Submitted by on August 28, 2007 – 10:21 am 2 Comments


another Lucy
by David McLean

and another Lucy rides to her heaven

today in a Parisian car that spans

the sky under whatever suburban sun

she does not love, she drags behind her

all her bountifully abused bodies

that have reflected thus her

abjection, Everywoman, mother

and lover declining life,

just one time,

one lonely line.

mad as the mist she is that spans a lake,

her Lethe drains her of miserly

memory that defines love’s finest

usury, words that spawn their vermin

under her agile fingers,

this very minute a padded cell somewhere

spells someone’s penance. so may this love

unfurl her pennants, tattered banners that

bear her heritage, the newest Lucy

under heavy manners, somewhere,

so lucid Lucy become lucifugous at last

the chains she wears that her shame is past,

and memory shackles us thus to our loveless loves,

unfree as she be – like you, like me.

2 Comments »

  • fogman says:

    I guess the topics were similar, as were some stylistic elements, but I wouldn’t even have noticed if you (quasimofo) hadn’t brought it up. Shannon Baker uses more interesting syntax and the creative word combinations almost seem to be what she hangs the whole structure of the poem on. Mclean’s poem is interesting and perhaps a little more erudite. I like the “lucy” metaphor quite a bit. I don’t know. They’re both good poems on a similar topic – Shannon’s from a seemingly more personal perspective and Mclean’s leaning toward the universal.

  • Quasimofo says:

    i read ‘another Lucy’ by David McLean and it struck me as being somewhat similar to Shannon Baker’s piece a few poems prior, ‘jerking the heartattack string’ (both extraordinary!) so much so that i suspected they may be one and the same author (this is just an item of curiosity, nothing more).

    Firstly, both piece’s titles begin uncapitalized as does all of the sentences within main body. ‘another Lucy’ does capitalize ‘Lucy’ thruout and ‘Parisian’, ‘Lethe’, and ‘Everywoman’ but that’s it.

    Secondly, there is a predilection in both poems for words using prefix ‘un’…’unstuffing’ ‘unchilded’ in Ms. Baker’s and ‘unfurl’ ‘unfree’ in Mr. McLean’s. Thirdly, sentence structure using periods, commas, in longer sentences appear cut from same cloth. #4…The subject in both poems is a ‘she’. #5…Some, not much, in author’s liking for alliteration: ‘…the graveface MADE for MARKING , see, we all need MONEY’ and ‘MAD as the MIST she is that spans a lake, her Lethe drains her of MISERLY MEMORY’ (hmm. both using ‘m’ words). #6…Both mention the ‘sun’.

    But there are some key differences in the cross-examination that seems to indicate the different authors behind the grassy knoll theory. ‘jerking the heartattack string’ is written in single lines and stanzas and ‘another Lucy’ is double-spaced with no stanzas. Word usage in Ms. Baker’s poem is what I call enlightened working-class and makes heavy use of word-combos like ‘fleshheap’ ‘fastdream’ ‘brainclock’ ‘graveface’ etc whereas in Mr. McLean’s poem this technique is absent. Additionally, the tone of Mr. McLean’s piece is more academic/verbose/eruditic and even makes reference to the underworld river Lethe (Lee-thee). Academics like allusioning our Greco-Roman Western heritage…

    I’m interested in any similarities or differences others may ascertain in these two intriguing poems. Unsolved Mystery…same author or just coincidence?

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