BDS&M Public Service Announcement: “Love Hurts”
Love Hurts
by diy danna
Bondage
I cheated on my taxes and my husband,
and blamed a lack of appreciation.
After placing his penis in a vice
to the delight of video voyeurs,
I called an attorney, my new bottom.
Discipline
My new sub never complains about the handcuffs
and stuffing his mouth with cotton balls.
The beatings started when he forgot
my birthday and our anniversary-
the first time I spanked him with a spoon.
Sadism
Electronic Harmony is a myth for online romantics
afraid to use vibrators and beads on bad boys
who refuse to put down the toilet seat.
My ex-husband claimed misrepresentation of intentions,
and I claimed he couldn’t take it in the ass like a real man.
Masochism
My ex’s new girlfriend is not a top like me.
She squeaks like a toy mouse
when he’s out with the boys
but she’s a silent martyr in bed.
Some women enjoy being stoned by love.
This is tiiight. And I mean that sincerely. Tight writing.
‘Ouch!’ and ‘Ooh!’ all in the same gasp! ‘Come into my parlor’, said the spider to the fly.
Yeah, I’d never heard that BD S&M before, just S&M.
I really got strapped down (with a strap-on!) by that first gripping line: “I cheated on my taxes and my husband,
and blamed a lack of appreciation.” Penis in the vice. hmm. Caligula has nothing on you, girl.
Another good one from the Surreal Estate Agent! Watch out for the whips and chains under the memory mattress!
Thx Diy.