M is for Metamorphosis
by david macpherson

Gregor Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a muppet. He was squat, purple and furry. He discovered he had a preternatural desired to count to the number 12 out loud and to expound upon the virtues of each of the letters of the alphabet. He could no longer keep his job. How was he e xpected to make his sales quota when at any moment he would break into a song about a tractor?

Whenever his father and mother saw him, they were compelled by unknown forces to rush to him and hug him with a fervor that he had never known before. Besides, such behavior was not proper. Was anything proper about the soft malleable fur he now had and his full throated rendition of “K is Cookie: That’s Good Enough for Me?”

Such boundless glee was such despair. He locked himself into his room. Bright yellow flowers would propel up from the uneven floorboards. Joy burst threw despite all his good intentions. Gregor Samsa ended his days sitting alone on his bed, his cute flaccid arms wrapped around his adorable legs, singing, I am a person in the neighborhood. In the neighborhood, in the neighborhood. I am a person….”