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Last in Line for Love
Submitted by Gene on July 21, 2009 – 11:21 am4 Comments
Last in Line for Love
by gene defcon
Momma just lay there
Her teets on display
While excited young kittens
Fought fairly for space
They gorged on her milk
Beyond what they needed
And left nothing at all
For the runt
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Both of you have no clue, especially the fact about teets… they are gooood. In tEXAS we spell it the way we write it… Gene surpasses our asses, with a bold smile and a little middle finger. You should check out his early stuff, like from the early 1990′s, early.early chum. yes no? Julie parker love spawn, right Mr. Goode?
Just because you don’t see /hear it doesn’t mean it aint there. Wish I could read it out loud to you. Especially the first four lines. But hey, that’s the great thing about art…in the final analysis, it is the user (viewer, reader, listener, etc.) who decides what its all about.
First off I want to address the comment above: There’s nothing in this poem to suggest that it has the cadence of a nursery rhyme unless Savagewave is thinking of “Tough titty said the kitty when the milk went dry.” At least I don’t hear it.
Second, I think I’m becoming a fan of Defcon’s stuff. This isn’t as good as “Paralyzed Victim,” but it’s still pretty good. I especially like the fact that the poem tells us that the other kittens ‘fought fairly for space,’ and yet it creates a tone that isn’t quite confluent with this notion. It really highlights how unjust life can be, and it does so quite eloquently.
And Third, Defcon, I’d like to read more of your stuff. Got any books out?
I totally and foolishly buy into the concept of the title…which is why I’ve always taken the runt of the litter. My husband’s always been that way too. But we’ve ended up with pets full of character and devotion too.
As far as the work itself; it’s decent. The cadence is natural and sounds a bit nursery rhyme-ish (just a bit) which ends up working out well. And kind of like the Brothers Grimm, it is pleasant thoughts mixed with dark ‘reality’.
Oh, and teets is actually supposed to be teats. (Since these sorts of errors have been -and should be- pointed out of late.)