Flash Light
Submitted by Kimberly E Ruth on August 10, 2009 – 8:52 am4 Comments
Flash Light
by kimberly e. ruth
Like inside a pig’s stomach, it was dark:
a scene illuminated only
by what looked like a dilapidated saint
broken and buzzing an awkward
buzz.
I stepped closer
to get a better look and maybe feel or
touch or be touched by this flashlight
of a thing
but she flinched,
quivering like an unmade
bed.
I stepped back
showing her my armless hands
knowing here, in this intestinal trench,
such a thing it makes no difference.
©
Thanks for the comments, guys. Love the idea about the title, Joe, thanks!
When I was younger I argued with my mom that making your bed was a pointless activity as you’d be sleeping in it that same day anyway. All that straightening just seemed like a bunch of busy work. I figured it was a motherly conspiracy to make her private morning time a few minutes longer.
Moving out, the bed definitely needs making. A cold mattress is the worst way to end a day.
I ate this and got a first night on the open floor as an all nude dancer. That can give you the jitters. Here, take my hand. There’s a twenty in it for you. “Gut Check” to your “Flash Light”. Enjoyed the show.
I like the intestinal motif. And I even like the last line. But I just can’t get into this. I think it’s because of lines 7 through 11. To me, these lines read like something out of harlequin romance, especially “she flinched, / quivering like an unmade bed.” But perhaps I wouldn’t have such a problem with these lines if I knew what was going on. This might not be too difficult. Perhaps you could give us a more informative title?
I could enjoy a Baby Ruth while reading this Kimmy Ruth. Just when i thought poetic craft had been swallowed whole by convenience store prose-poetry along comes my Bradamantine in shining armor brandishing 3 similes and concentric metaphors! Kick ass! Spacing gives poem a slow searching probing kinda vibe which is highly reflective of subject material…nice touch! No doubt some will get hung up on the last line ‘such a thing it makes no difference’, i thought the grammatical change-up was essential for keeping delivery perky and reader on toes, perhaps much akin to Berryman’s use of inversion. Loved the read! I look forward to the book!