Comments on: Real All of the Sudden

By: Matt Ronquillo

Matt Ronquillo — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:04:46 +0000

haha. She called me sophomoric once too. possibly in quick reaction to my excluding the possibility of a woman being the main character in a second person narrative, but also possibly because that piece wasn’t my best, so meh.

By: Elizabeth C. Neavel

Elizabeth C. Neavel — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:49:11 +0000

Savagewave, your favorite savage word seems to be “sophomoric.”

If my poems bore, don’t read.

But thanks for what little CONSTRUCTIVE feedback you have to offer.

I don’t mean to be rude, but if you want to complain, you need to tell me how to make it better.

By: Elizabeth C. Neavel

Elizabeth C. Neavel — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 04:35:56 +0000

Matt is correct.

The poem is mostly quotations.

As in journalism, not including a quotation mark in the beginning and at the end of a phrase means the sentence is a paraphrase of what was said. This is true, so I can see how the opening phrase could be misleading.

But, I don’t like starting a poem with quotation marks, so I kept her words verbatim.

By: Matt Ronquillo

Matt Ronquillo — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:13:17 +0000

I assumed that first line was said incorrectly by allison though was included intentionally by the author who is aware it was incorrect. I hope so anyway.

By: savagewave

savagewave — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:02:03 +0000

http://grammartips.homestead.com/sudden.html

Aside from that, this was okay. Sophomoric, I suppose. But it kept my attention. Reminded me of a bottle of Crown Royal that got drunk a long time ago.

I never meant to sound blase, or jaded.

By: Matt Ronquillo

Matt Ronquillo — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:38:36 +0000

I also like a lot.

By: softserve

softserve — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:06:53 +0000

there’s nothing i can say except wow

By: philwillprevail

philwillprevail — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:01:29 +0000

Lovely. I feel this one.