Comments on: spill http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/03/10/spill/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=spill Publishing Creative and Contemporary Writing Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:47:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: cerebella http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/03/10/spill/comment-page-1/#comment-2254 cerebella Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:10:46 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/?p=6327#comment-2254 and i mean, it needs to get on the paper in order to get the same points across to others that you got across to yourself. when naturally spilled, everything counts. and i mean, it needs to get on the paper in order to get the same points across to others that you got across to yourself. when naturally spilled, everything counts.

]]> By: cerebella http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/03/10/spill/comment-page-1/#comment-2253 cerebella Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:02:54 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/?p=6327#comment-2253 there's no such thing as love too passionate to make. that probably makes me sound sex crazed, but i firmly believe you can make the proverbial love to anything. i liked reading this multiple times. poetry is consciousnesses souvenir. if you're thinking in sentence breaks, fragments, runons or other classically void grammer misfits, it needs to be translated to the paper. i find 'flow' very personal 'koos of this. of course, the appalachian flower children stanza struck a very pleased-to-be-plucked three chord in my lifelong song. how long has this song been playing? '22 years long'. there’s no such thing as love too passionate to make. that probably makes me sound sex crazed, but i firmly believe you can make the proverbial love to anything.
i liked reading this multiple times. poetry is consciousnesses souvenir. if you’re thinking in sentence breaks, fragments, runons or other classically void grammer misfits, it needs to be translated to the paper. i find ‘flow’ very personal ‘koos of this.
of course, the appalachian flower children stanza struck a very pleased-to-be-plucked three chord in my lifelong song. how long has this song been playing? ’22 years long’.

]]> By: Quasimofo http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/03/10/spill/comment-page-1/#comment-2247 Quasimofo Sat, 13 Mar 2010 12:07:17 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/?p=6327#comment-2247 Uh, i would say in a beautiful ramble poem such as this the stuttering comma breaks are like a quick breath in cathartic jazz solo. The comma breaks, though perhaps not grammatically 'law-abiding', are for the reader's benefit in breaking up a continuous stream of consciousness so it may be that more digestable for the famished cook who partakes of his own dishes. I have that problem too where i just want to keep going with the thought and the interconnectedness and not stop like making love and letting it all just mesh and mesh and then it's like all too passionate and you gotta give your lover a little slap on the ass just to say HEY i'm here remember me. Maybe that's all wrong. Who knows? I loved the imagination and words and the descriptions here. thx for sharing. Uh, i would say in a beautiful ramble poem such as this the stuttering comma breaks are like a quick breath in cathartic jazz solo. The comma breaks, though perhaps not grammatically ‘law-abiding’, are for the reader’s benefit in breaking up a continuous stream of consciousness so it may be that more digestable for the famished cook who partakes of his own dishes. I have that problem too where i just want to keep going with the thought and the interconnectedness and not stop like making love and letting it all just mesh and mesh and then it’s like all too passionate and you gotta give your lover a little slap on the ass just to say HEY i’m here remember me. Maybe that’s all wrong. Who knows?

I loved the imagination and words and the descriptions here. thx for sharing.

]]> By: misener http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/2010/03/10/spill/comment-page-1/#comment-2240 misener Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:57:47 +0000 http://www.haggardandhalloo.com/?p=6327#comment-2240 This takes a couple of reads. The flow can be stuttering at times, a bit confusing. Yet. . . It is a dream, I suppose. That being said, I loved it. Strong and refreshing imagery and some genuinely funny moments, like: "I’ve told you already about the eye patch and permanent palm prints on my pasty forehead, that came from playing Patty Cake and Rock-Paper-Scissors with a paranoid schizophrenic Three Stooges fan in Washington Park" distracting comma aside, images like this make for an interesting piece. Could use a rewrite to make it truly memorable. Thanks for the entertaining read. This takes a couple of reads. The flow can be stuttering at times, a bit confusing. Yet. . . It is a dream, I suppose.

That being said, I loved it. Strong and refreshing imagery and some genuinely funny moments, like:

“I’ve told you already
about the eye patch and permanent
palm prints on my pasty forehead, that came from playing
Patty Cake and Rock-Paper-Scissors with a paranoid
schizophrenic Three Stooges fan in Washington Park”

distracting comma aside, images like this make for an interesting piece. Could use a rewrite to make it truly memorable.

Thanks for the entertaining read.

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