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SuBuRBuBoNIc vAgUe, HeMpCrEte, [beAn COunTiNg CoMMiE BeaRS], weS AnDerSON CoDiCil, StEReOlAb’s “MaRGeriNe ecLIPse”–i Am ‘GeSPanNT wiE Ein fLiTzeBOgeN’

Submitted by on June 21, 2014 – 11:28 am 6 Comments

SuBuRBuBoNIc vAgUe, HeMpCrEte, [beAn COunTiNg CoMMiE BeaRS], weS AnDerSON CoDiCIl, StEReOlAb’s “MaRGeriNe ecLIPse”–i Am ‘GeSPanNT wIe eIn fLITzeBOgeN’
by Quasimofo

i. Son of Big Chief Moleskin:
my mind goes to dark places
(which are the same as the light places
with the switch flipped)..
i’m afraid of the hate mail
disguised as love mail
pawned as a breast-fed dielectrical muss
for the gospel reggae west coast saloon revival trip hop.
i jump thru hoops and reward myself with more hoops;
{building a house of cards may not be considered playing my cards right}…
i tried channeling negative ch’i by drinking more chai.
i fight fire with fire-water and try to remember that things go your way more often
on one way streets.

ii. Tartarus Ringo #5:
lately it’s been the same–a 2 a.m. tontine of me belting guitar riffs
center stage Hades’s place from that
70’s band Boston
rocking Fire Lakeside Chatwell Villain Pavilion
as funicular for the femme fatale who will strip in reverse
al natural to 36 layers of samurai armor–
i get the lap dance and am rushed to the e.r.

iii. A Rap from M. C . Monkey Rodan:
‘Clash of Titans’ in the house, release the Cracker!
If Medusa steps up, I bitch-slap her!
I got a redneck flag on a broom flying from the pick-up,
Got some drunk backwoods boys, and my rott pups!
Cracker, if i’m be the bad guy, i’ll be the spanker,
Like a sadomasochistic gargoyle, ‘ka-pop’, won’t even thank her.
Well life’s just a little too much, now and then,
And the crap just keeps on hitting the box fan,
So I take a long hard shit, it gives me time to think a bit,
Cracker, yeah, I’m 3 months due on the goddamned rent,
I take a long hard shit, then I take another long hard shit…

iv for an iv. On Johannes Van Hoytyl’s ‘Boy With Apple’:
Oh golden cropped hunter of the pleasures of man,
you’re youth is green–a mistaken ripeness.
Plush velvet medieval shag–stags mounted in place of wall paper.
You lucky little fucker, you’ve got it all!
…Though unless you’ve never haven’t…
–Welcome to the Game of Thrones Red Wedding,
That’s right, G.O.T. in the GTO–
–A soft porn mix of Tolkien with Tarantino!

v. Editors who make knives have sharp wit:
“Re posse’

soak in sooth
baby vicks rub
bubblee’;
we were bored and got gored
and the babies bit back..
he’s got mo-mullet pluck
and tally whacked shellac
as secret sauce on his big mac..
‘V’ is for victory but I eat at the ‘Y’.
‘sorry sir, our menu’s online’..
I am Sebastian Alabaster Casa Nova McKenzie
middle linebacker for
the Defensive League of the Beleaguered
and I like poetic crockery!
the halls of justice shine with disinfectant from the disaffected..
i’ll chow 5 links of evel knevil sausage then hit 18 holes friz-golf
before I throttle this chipotle Aristotle..
death penalty for the penalty box is bull pucky sighing shucks
of cornhusker reflux..
paint those boobs Blu-ray
and x-ray the boners..
Hey there, Calzoners,
twerk your dazzle muffins!
and holler ‘Blizzard’ in a crowded theatre of the absurd.
chew lifesavers from your screensavers.
find the playlists of organ donors
and dance pre galactic Velcro in
swag imploding ‘verse …

6 Comments »

  • Halifax says:

    Sears Jigsaw a gigolo saw inside Sears
    (A response poem)

    Got my fanny pack of condoms overfilled
    The embroidery says “2B1ask12B1withU”
    Gold letter cost extra but well worth doing
    This is my white flag of surrender to me
    Self-defeated, my drives drive reckless

    This strap on zipper pack with plastic clasp
    Is a bridle gown thrown on my lower half
    Showing all the ladies I’m available in theory
    But I’m not cheap; I cost all their dignity.

    • Quasimofo says:

      i was so shocked by this eroticism that i gave it a dose of its own medicine and tazed myself. lol i wish i had wrote this, well done! ‘fanny pack of condoms’ –lmao

  • Cloyd says:

    This made my day. Thanks for writing this.

    • Quasimofo says:

      My pleasure, sir. i won’t make any money from this tired poetry but perhaps it’ll serve as corn whiskey in the gas tank to escape authorities.

  • Randall Nicholas says:

    Quintessential H&H: not to be elucidated, just appreciated, and perhaps later regurgitated, like a post hot chili meal; taking on different styles (rap/spoken word in III, perhaps other musical forms) so it’s like Joyce’s Ulysses, but also in five acts, like a classical play; classical stuff mixed in with modern (“Tartarus Ringo,” “chipotle Aristotle;” puns (“channeling negative ch’i by drinking more chai,” “shine with disinfectant from the disaffected”), colloquialisms (“crap just keeps on hitting the box fan”), aphorisms (“things go your way more often on one way streets”), grand-slam combinations (“a soft porn mix of Tolkien and Tarantino,” “sadomasochistic gargoyle”); straight-out wild shit (“twerk your dazzle muffins”). You don’t get all the reference (or even half), you don’t see all the connections (but maybe some), you’re simply overwhelmed by the amount of scintillating randomness he can come up with and throw at you. Draws you to “the esoteric and personal.”

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