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Recipe For Prison Pruno

Submitted by on June 28, 2014 – 5:41 am 2 Comments

Recipe For Prison Pruno
By Jarvis Masters

Take ten peeled oranges,
Jarvis Masters, it is the judgment and sentence of this court,
one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,
that the charged information was true,
squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,
and the jury having previously, on said date,
and put the juice along with the mash inside,
found that the penalty shall be death,
add 16 oz. of water and seal the bag tightly.
and this Court having, on August 20, 1991,
Place the bag into your sink,
denied your motion for a new trial,
and heat it with hot running water for 15 minutes.
it is the order of this Court that you suffer death,
wrap towels around the bag to keep it warm for fermentation.
said penalty to be inflicted within the walls of San Quentin,
Stash the bag in your cell undisturbed for 48 hours.
at which place you shall be put to death,
When the time has elapsed,
in the manner prescribed by law,
add 40 to 60 cubes of white sugar,
the date later to be fixed by the Court in warrant of execution.
six teaspoons of ketchup,
You are remanded to the custody of the warden of San Quentin,
then heat again for 30 minutes,
to be held by him pending final
secure the bag as done before,
determination of your appeal.
then stash the bag undisturbed again for 72 hours.
It is so ordered.
Reheat daily for 15 minutes.
In witness whereof,
After 72 hours,
I have hereon set my hand as Judge of this Superior Court,
with a spoon, skim off the mash,
and I have caused the seal of this Court to be affixed thereto.
pour the remaining portion into two 18 oz. cups.
May God have mercy on your soul.

2 Comments »

  • Halifax says:

    The Reach-around
    (A response poem)

    Kool and the gang
    bust in to dine
    on the mash
    humming “oh yeah,
    tastes just like justice”
    resounding out the juice
    a memory fermented
    in all night rumination

    Let nothing go to waste;
    the buzz is yours,
    your haircut stuffs your pillow.

    sleep it off in solitaire
    the revulsion spoons you
    self-hatred does not judge
    it takes you as you are

  • Randall Nicholas says:

    No, I wouldn’t want to be served this either.

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