Dead Astronauts, Helpoemer, Vaucanson’s Automaton, Zardoz, Giorgio De Chirico, The Smurf Queen Editoress of Indiana, Eiga Monogatari; Try that on for Synthesizer

Dead Astronauts, Helpoemer, Vaucanson’s Automaton, Zardoz, Giorgio De Chirico, The Smurf Queen Editoress of Indiana, Eiga Monogatari; Try that on for Synthesizer By Quasimofo The Battle of Karansebes 1788–Austrian scouts come upon a group of Wallachian gypsies who sell them schnappes. They get drunk. Austrian infantry approaches. Austrian scouts pose as enemy Turks to scare […]

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On Arriving at the Age of 46; Bloodmoon, Beer Summit, Luetzow’s Freikorps, Brestaurant, Megas Doux, NewRetroWave, and ‘The Five Venoms’

On Arriving at the Age of 46; Bloodmoon, Beer Summit, Luetzow’s Freikorps, Brestaurant, Megas Doux, NewRetroWave, and ‘The Five Venoms’ By Quasimofo Centipede; Laerte’s Orchard: is it wrong to poop in the shower? Or read Kerouac’s “Mexican Lonliness” in the voice of Dalek Sec leader of the cult of Skaro? Virginia Woolf drowns in her […]

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Perlemorskyer, Hellpainter Tangentleman, Man Merkin, Italian Cordial Liquore Coffee, Com Truise, Kitten Handler Encyclical; A Poem Written on Margot Tenenbaum’s Naked Backside

Perlemorskyer, Hellpainter Tangentleman, Man Merkin, Italian Cordial Liquore Coffee, Com Truise, Kitten Handler Encyclical; A Poem Written on Margot Tenenbaum’s Naked Backside by Quasimofo OnE.  Uhtceare– smoking pot with the Potus, scratching scrotums with the Scotus, i hit long balls that carom off Tex-Mex Shiva hissing “¡Ocupado!” from the junkyard shitter. ‘Gruel me once, shame on […]

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American Ale, Surrealist Spookaboo, Baby Huey, Ecstatic Cling Abstract Wrap, and Reclining Buddha Nature Sticky Observatory…

American Ale, Surrealist Spookaboo, Baby Huey, Ecstatic Cling Abstract Wrap, and Reclining Buddha Nature Sticky Observatory… [Saxon High King Wuffa Remix] ———————————————————————————————————————- i. i can’t read or write poetry so i throw the bones of words phrases thoughts and prophesize how you’ll beat cannibalistic missing link: i am not a troll. i am a billy […]

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Bikini Girl from Kung Pow, Das Horn Niello, Märzen-style Ale for what ails Shia Labeouf; Wrecked Pimp Galfonier

  Bikini Girl from Kung Pow, Das Horn Niello, Märzen-style Ale for what ails Shia Labeouf; Wrecked Pimp Galfonier by Quasimofo “Everything that surrounds us has been designed–from the paperclip and the iPod, to our homes and the way we live.” –from ‘DESIGN: A-Z’  –Bayley and Conran– i want explicit vulgar sex before during and […]

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¡Shazbot! The Recipe’s good

¡Shazbot! The Recipe’s good–it was the Goddamned cooks; or i was a teenage Mephistopheles pedo-stash bastard of Hetaira bingeing on Gelato Stracciatella and Miller High Life by Quasimofo “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” –William Shakespeare, The Tempest– act 1/Elusedate: Gerry rig the atom after appeals for recreation end in yet another […]

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SuBuRBuBoNIc vAgUe, HeMpCrEte, [beAn COunTiNg CoMMiE BeaRS], weS AnDerSON CoDiCil, StEReOlAb’s “MaRGeriNe ecLIPse”–i Am ‘GeSPanNT wiE Ein fLiTzeBOgeN’

SuBuRBuBoNIc vAgUe, HeMpCrEte, [beAn COunTiNg CoMMiE BeaRS], weS AnDerSON CoDiCIl, StEReOlAb’s “MaRGeriNe ecLIPse”–i Am ‘GeSPanNT wIe eIn fLITzeBOgeN’ by Quasimofo i. Son of Big Chief Moleskin: my mind goes to dark places (which are the same as the light places with the switch flipped).. i’m afraid of the hate mail disguised as love mail pawned […]

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Readymades Esoterica & El Stinko Picasso in a Massausage Fest Catabasis For Svelte Boobirds While Eating Angry Whoppers On GTA V Fagioes En Route to a Drift Float Spa

Readymades Esoterica & El Stinko Picasso in a Massausage Fest Catabasis For Svelte Boobirds While Eating Angry Whoppers On GTA V Fagioes En Route to a Drift Float Spa by Quasimofo “Do you think Miss Saeki knew what all the lyrics mean?” Oshima looks up, listening to the thunder as if calculating how far away […]

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A Poem on Pictures from Taschen’s ‘Decorative Art 70s’.

A Poem on Pictures from Taschen’s ‘Decorative Art 70s’. by Quasimofo “The constraints placed on both architects and designers by the economic recession which dominated the 1970’s served only to spur on their creativity. While inventiveness characterized the work of the avant-garde during these years, that of the mainstream–bar a few notable exceptions–was typically bland, […]

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Coonskin Cap Catechism Amanuensis of Neufchâtel Bucaramanga Supremo with Takeda Shingen as Second Chapbook

Coonskin Cap Catechism Amanuensis of Neufchâtel Bucaramanga Supremo with Takeda Shingen as Second Chapbook by Davy Quasimofo i. Bishamonten pops Chicharrónes at laser car wash guaranteed ‘no touch’: We’re profane cause we fill propane next to ‘i-phone repair’ banners & i’m in line to get chicken since there’s only so many sushi girls i can […]

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A Denis Leary Style Rant on Mannequins (Delivered at the “Hipster Basho Sappho But Mostly Hipster Convention” in Manhattan)

A Denis Leary Style Rant on Mannequins (Delivered at the “Hipster Basho Sappho But Mostly Hipster Convention” in Manhattan) by Quasimofo      So i goes into this clothing store the other day and sees all these naked mannequins that don’t have no hair anywheres or eyes and ears or smiles and they look like futuristic […]

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60 Meaningful Gauloises, Donderbuss Cavalry, Alfalpha Male, (persiflage poète mauditry), and ’30 Days To A More Powerful Vocabulary’ while listening to the Hanna Barbarians

60 Meaningful Gauloises, Donderbuss Cavalry, Alfalpha Male, (persiflage poète mauditry), and ’30 Days To A More Powerful Vocabulary’ while listening to the Hanna Barbarians by Quasimofo “If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don’t need an enemy.” —Kurt Vonnegut— There’s a pair of dimes in a paradigm making you feel like a […]

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Honeybadger vs. Honey Boo Boo; or Creative Writing Laboratory Rends Asunder Rufied Keurig Memeology Self-Replicating Cultural Analogue [*Shit to the power of Ballgazer 7*]

Honeybadger vs. Honey Boo Boo; or Creative Writing Laboratory Rends Asunder Rufied Keurig Memeology Self-Replicating Cultural Analogues [*Shit to the power of Ballgazer 7*] For Nicholas Thomas Hranilovich by Quasimofo I used to love reading tales of King Arthur and his Knights but nowadays i just wanna eat pussy. Yes, i is a rotten m-f-er […]

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Phlegm Flambé Abercrombees & Bitch (A Birthday Poem for Halifax) with Réponse Retortés

Phlegm Flambé Abercrombees & Bitch (A Birthday Poem for Halifax) by Quasimofo When the going gets tough, you’re the only guy i know who duck tapes his underwear to his butt. ..But let’s take this cup of mea culpa culpability and bust into the Tea Party Headquarters like Billy Jack kickin’ the crap outta mistspellirs! […]

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A Random Poetic of Dancing Monks Dubbel Ale at Scholz’s Biergarten in Austin, Tx.

A Random Poetic of Dancing Monks Dubbel Ale at Scholz’s Biergarten in Austin, Tx. by Quasimofo Snyder a lone God particle embeds upon the uterine wall of Mephisto’s Indonesian Hackers in a houdat hellbasket. …Man rapes the earth and ascends to the heavens with grub worms covering his dick.. Dammit Ronquillo! Why’d you have to […]

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Three-Toed Sloth vs. Harpy Eagle; or The BackDrop PopArt application of Maybelline Dream Nude Airfoam while Drinking Japanese Shirayuki Nama Sake in a Confederate Kepi

Three-Toed Sloth vs. Harpy Eagle; or The BackDrop PopArt application of Maybelline Dream Nude Airfoam while Drinking Japanese Shirayuki Nama Sake in a Confederate Kepi For J. Claudius Cloyd by Quasimofo i didn’t show up on the radar but she sure as hell noticed me on the sonar– odd, actually, given i was 100 feet […]

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La Phoque Je Ne Sais Quoi Baguette Rene Magritte Semi-Surreal Nouveau Imagist Poem

La Phoque Je Ne Sais Quoi Baguette Rene Magritte Semi-Surreal Nouveau Imagist Poem by Jean Pierre Quasimofoeu “If the dream is a translation of waking life, waking life is also a translation of the dream.” –Rene Magritte– He read his newspaper next to the quadrangle spectre of technology. now he’s gone through chutes of incineration […]

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Hollow and Solid Chocolate Santas

Hollow and Solid Chocolate Santas By Quasimofo and Halifax For Haggard and Halloo Readers (Merry X-mas!) Sometimes i chomp into a Santa head thinking it’s solid chocolate but forget to read the package which says “hollow” and i bite my tongue spurting a powdered- sugared blood-glaze atop dainty nutbreads and fruitcakes. Somewhere inside my mouth […]

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Thoughts mused in a jalopy of a porta-potty outside a Gentleman’s cabaret serviced by the ‘Mobile Throne Co.’

Thoughts mused in a jalopy of a porta-potty outside a Gentleman’s cabaret serviced by the ‘Mobile Throne Co.’ by Fictional Self-Occupy i like to go window shopping for those who put their pain on display …for those who break the mold and break the bank so that’s why i’ve created this little five and dime: […]

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A Mayhem of Sanskrit Missionary, jecuzzi fireplace, bumper sticker bocce, 9 band Bastardillo, faith-fling-sprawl; food, beer, Amy Winehouse and gas…to the tune–‘Opera of the Cunning Little Vixen’ For Venkatesan Iyengar

A Mayhem of Sanskrit Missionary, jecuzzi fireplace, bumper sticker bocce, 9 band Bastardillo, faith-fling-sprawl; food, beer, Amy Winehouse and gas…to the tune–‘Opera of the Cunning Little Vixen’ For Venkatesan Iyengar Ekam god created the first man and woman and we fucked like highly expressive abstract art giving gist to a refurbished downtown meat-packing plant turned revitalized […]

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Poem on Taschen’s Compendium of Alchemy and Mysticism; or Inmate Hangs Self with own Bluejeans—For whom the Bellbottoms Toll…

Poem on Taschen’s Compendium of Alchemy and Mysticism; or Inmate Hangs Self with own Bluejeans— For whom the Bellbottoms Toll… by Quasimofo “I assure you that anyone who attempts a literal understanding of the writings of hermetic philosophers will lose himself in the twists and turns of a labyrinth from which he will never find […]

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On Arriving at the Age of Forty-One in an Albrecht Dürer Kitchen Gallery

On Arriving at the Age of Forty-One in an Albrecht Dürer Kitchen Gallery For Dane Haggard by Quasimofo i. Milton Bradley Sonnetgram for Love Child: If Time must be clock-wise and weld Human, Then let Her be a lingerie model With hourglass figure I’ve seen in brothels! She’s my backdoor backwoods cottage woman! Her skin […]

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How to get towed through life with a piece of Dental Floss: Ascetic Sutra Mach Five

How to get towed through life with a piece of Dental Floss: Ascetic Sutra Mach Five by Quasimofo How to get towed through life with a piece of Dental Floss: Ascetic Sutra Mach Five on1 i should get paid to breathe, dammit! and if money grew on trees, it would be legal tender for the […]

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{The} Joy [of] Division; Never speak to me again, We can never be friends again

{The} Joy [of] Division; Never speak to me again, We can never be friends again by Quasimofo {The} Joy [of] Division; Never speak to me again, We can never be friends again                          For My Dead Muse “love will tear us apart” ….it was all that and everything so very much it bursts the veins sprouting […]

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Portmanteau Girlfriends on the Side in Unexpected Days off Altered World Outlook

Portmanteau Girlfriends on the Side in Unexpected Days off Altered World Outlook by quasimofo i. (is the horniest number) Get more virtuosic bang for your buck at brothels having sex in a sedan coupling in a coupe cranking that curiosity throttle circumsalivating the global intercourse positioning saddled sate-night-lite… …umm mama, all i need is a […]

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Helldog Love Snogging Cowgirl Alarm Clocks and Jesus Christ on a Popsickle Stick

Helldog Love Snogging Cowgirl Alarm Clocks and Jesus Christ on a Popsickle Stick by C. Wilder and Quasimofo [wonder twin powers ‘activate!’] oNe Let us embrace the fictittylicious love at first blogsite and write the most beautiful thing about love from the heart: “Locked at the lips and locked at the hips tongues twist in […]

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