Gray Along the River

Gray Along the River
by Christine O’Leary-Rockey.
I see you along the ridge and
you shift- like geese in the rain.
To know you is to question substance
highways and sleep
There are places that even physicians cannot
mediate. On these the sea leaves its
mark, angled and strong. Light
is really a question- along with dance
and the language of faces. Ask me-
do I love you now?
If not, when?
Was there ever a time we sprang lightly
Loosed from the ground as if on wire?
I did not know you then, when I hung you
From the branches. Feared you
Like a slow fire.
Anchor or ballast- both shapes
affect speed while promoting balance
Only one keeps you
from spiraling down

0 thoughts on “Gray Along the River

  1. This is convoluted at parts, stunningly beautiful in others. It took me a couple of reads to find the flow. I can’t put my finger on what is so good here, but it’s there. Nice work. I feel like floating away.

  2. This starts really strong in the present and quickly moves (and stays) in a retrospective summons of a former love. There are more positive things to say about this than negative, but I never enjoyed unanswerable questions littered thru a poem. A rewrite or two with the focus on clarification and a building to this nice ending would make this a much better poem.

  3. I don’t know. This one grabbed me and didn’t let me go until the last four lines. It reads beautifully aloud. until “Anchor or ballast- both shapes / affect speed while promoting balance” and maybe there it’s just “while promoting” that doesn’t seem to fit. or maybe the transition from fire to anchor is too abrupt. or maybe its just me. Over all, I like it. melancholy and reflective, with a good sense of phrasing.

  4. I think your ideas are good. This one comes and goes and it’s been too fluid with me for me to nail down the pieces that are off. Your feedback is constructive and precise. I appreciate the feedback…and the kindness.

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