Johnson City is the Best City

Johnson City is the Best City
by Dirk Michener
LBJ was into aquacars
He had a whole fleet of them
And trucks
Aquatrucks
They converted into boats and you could motor around the lake
Drive right across a ravine or a fjord
He would go for a drive down one of his dusty old ranch roads
Going about 100 miles-per-hour straight toward a crick
The passengers screaming for him to stop
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING LYNDON FOR GODSAKES PLEASE STOP!
Pedal to the metal
Laughing up a storm
Drunk
He’d press the boat-conversion button and plow in
He wrecked up most of them
Because he didn’t like to stop to convert the car
Which is something he was told when he bought them
Always stop the car when converting it into a boat
Fuck them, he thought
I’m the the goddamn president now