Capital City Dream Opera
Capital City Dream Opera
by Shawn Misener
This town is overpopulated
by weeble-wobbles and beanpoles
lesbian poets and straight strippers
day-glo starfish and black ferrets
stuffed into a tiny ziploc
and crammed between the cottage cheese
and gelled raspberry preserves
I sprayed red ink over the underpass
held tight to my skin
took in the yeastified air
next to the smokestacks made of wheat bread
Don’t stray too far from the center
or prepare to face the unconscious wrath
of the pink semi trucks
and the stone waffles-
the silhouettes of men
crushing iron under their fists-
sparks continual in the atmosphere
except for the final line, which could have been more dynamic (or eliminated entirely) this is good.
A D M O N I S H I N G ! I may be totally off on this, but the piece struck me as the antithesis of ‘Kubla Khan'(bold imagery!), sort of a Post-Modern Coleridge. Not that it has ‘to be’ like anything……or that you have ‘to be’ like anyone…it’s unique in its own right, and that’s what i found so cool in the re-reads.
My turn to ask..Based on actual dream, or ‘ambrosia induced’? Or true-to-life depiction of Lansing? Just kiddin’.
A lot of poetic ju-juitsu going on here and plays on words: “I sprayed red ink OVER the UNDERpass…” and the fact that you ‘held tight to my [your] skin’ shows that you’re comfortable in it. I tried to figure out where i may fit into the scheme of things in this overpopulated city…whether i was a weeble-wobble or a black ferret…if i could choose, i would pick driving the pink semi-trucks. Nice piece!
I’d agree. Seems a bit jumpy and the breaths are mixed and panty, but there’s some stand out lines here. It works towards an interesting overall feeling though.
Thank you so much for the comments. This is a jumpy piece, I agree, and it was induced by a dream. . . still, most of the imagery came from my experiences in Lansing. This was a one-timer, with no rewrites, so I’m not surprised that it’s “mixed and panty. ” I’ve been in this godforsaken city for two long, and things tend to get a bit surreal the longer I stay in one place.
Lansing is the home of displaced GM workers, with a strong gay undertone. We have everything here, yet nothing is special. Like a Milky Way bar.