BEHIND THESE LINES

BEHIND THESE LINES
by Bo Sacker
Our country is obsessed with obesity, and I, loyally, try to do my part. Each morning, before I step on the scales, I trim my toe nails, shave off my whiskers, remove what teeth come out, take off my heavy wrist
watch and pajamas and then take a deep breath so I am inflated with weightless air.
Since none of this helps, I take off my thick and heavy glasses, and then, blind as a bat, guess at what my weight is. Works every time.