Big Red Sun
Big Red Sun
by DIY Danna
Will he think of me, when I die?
A glimpse of love in a papillon flutter, and
the heartbeat skips on a sidewalk outside a secret garden.
How can nature be so beautiful and so cruel?
He planted a bulb in the permafrost ground
after the last bleak instance when I buried,
under the big red sun, unconditional love –
the hearty orchid that springs from the tragic compost heap.
But I leave it behind in a flowerpot on a window ledge
and don’t look back because it’s time to stop mourning
its eventual death, parched from toiling to be admired
and weeping to be remembered and keep love forever.
My orchid told me the roses will be beautiful again
and I believe her, thorns and all under another big red sun
where I bask alone in the brilliance after a cleansing shower
dissolves my death mask and plants a rainbow smile.
I don’t quite know what to think of this poem. The message is clear enough (very meaningful) and the metaphor of planting and nurturing one’s unconditional love is good, especially how it moves from the infinite earth to the finite pot in love’s aftermath. The poem certainly wears “heartfelt” on its sleeve, maybe too well. “dissolves my death mask and plants a rainbow smile” is a nice, hopeful ending. On the other hand, I think about the first line and wonder if he will think of you when he dies. In places like that, the poem could maybe deliver more emotion without relying so heavily on metaphors (like “deathmask”). Still, I think its well written but it doesn’t grab me as powerfully as it could. I can’t really articulate why.
Based on a true story, it’s feel good poem of the year. The sappiest story/poem, really. I have mixed thoughts (and feelings) about this one, too.
spoken like a true poet