by pat a physics
My cat was being stolen and, at the same time, I was entertaining a famous movie director at my house. I told him to wait a moment, my cat was missing. He snorted this really annoyed sigh. He percussively straightened some newspaper in front of his bespectacled nose. There wasn’t much time.
I could see the young lady ascending a hill just past the road in front of my door. My cat’s legs were pointing toward the sky over her shoulder. Oh lady, I called out to her. She turned and looked so old and disappointed. The cat was asleep and just fell back into my arms like a sack of flour.
This has been happening frequently, I told the director. He smacked his lips, took off the glasses, nodded his head with a sarcastic, wide eyed expression, and grunted. His patience was running out. I tried to tell him about how the lady looked disappointed and sad. How she felt that I had robbed her of her only chance at having her own cat. He muttered something about me and my crazy lady, and excused himself to use the bathroom.
But he didn’t use the bathroom. Instead, he went out the front door, got in his fancy car, and drove off. I had just botched a twenty million dollar deal all because of that infernal woman. I went outside and yelled out that I wanted to kill her. But my neighbor came out and told me to shut up. He also told me that I was not strong enough to kill anybody. I would like to see you try, said the neighbor.
0 thoughts on “Ensnared Locust”
I like it.
My favorite line: “Oh lady, I called out to her.”
This reads with slight tinge of dreamishness.
I wonder what the deal with the director was. . .
I’m seeing patterns in my cornflakes when I see linear sense in a Pat A Physics work. I know this but still, I see the singularly trapped plague insect of the title referencing the everyday plague of drama that unfolds in any one persons life and compares it to what unknown subjective measure determines a story is worth sharing with an audience.
My damn cornflakes are soggy now. Thanks.
“…the everyday plague of drama that unfolds in any one persons life and compares it to what unknown subjective measure determines a story is worth sharing with an audience.”
Try *hooked on phonics for dummies*, Halifax. You confuse cornflakes with worthwhile criticism.
The deal with the director was this idea for books that are attached to an oblong box along the spine. The rectangular box contains miniature props that the reader could actually finger as she read the story. It’s kind of like the board game “Clue,” with it’s miniature weapons. In addition to being a movie director, the grumpy old man also ran a small publishing firm that dealt with unique art books such as the one the character in the story was about to propose before the situational comedy ensued. Twenty million dollars was an exaggeration, and so was his desire to kill the cat-kidnapper.
The poem is in the style of George Perec’s novel, “Life: A User’s Manual.” The “Oh lady…” line was inspired by one of Dion McGregor’s somniloquies entitled “Dumb Fart.” You are perceptive in noting the dreamishness because it was inspired by one I had. I wrote it on the morning of the 17th.
Thanks for reading.
Dear Pat: We’re not starting comment wars here.
Zany, wild, and funny! I really enjoyed the dream story…very entertaining! I read somewhere that cats used to only be from Egypt, and that they were in such high demand around the Mediterranean world, that ambitious entrepreneurs would actually smuggle them out…hence the name ‘cat-burgler’.
I’ll bet the director was Robert Rodgiguez…after that ‘Planet Terror’ fiasco, your dream simulcrum is probably better off. Well, I guess it wasn’t that bad. Do you do any screen-writing, Mr. Physics? I wrote about 70 scene cards once for this wierd ass movie I called “Lives of Wild Adventure and Deep Reflection” (yeah, ..long time ago) …a coming of age film that culminated in 2 rival town’s adolescent gangs engaged in a gigantic egg-battle while riding bikes, skateboards, rollerblades etc. (all patterned after the battle of Waterloo)…pretty damned retarded, but I thought it was funny at the time. Anyway, your work made me remember that(in a good light). Keep dreamin’!