Review of a Water Balloon Fight

Review of a Water Balloon Fight
by pat a physics
On the night of June 8th, there was a wonderful water balloon fight at my friend Richard’s house. We got the idea because Eileen was getting drunk with Richard, and Richard had thought up a watermelon party. Eileen mentioned that Richard was going to have a watermelon party to me at work. I misheard watermelon and thought she said water balloon. So it was decided to have both at the party. Then we just started calling it a water balloon party.
Man, it took so long to fill up all those balloons. I was not very good at filling them up, but Richard was good at it, and so was Andrea. We were listening to KVRX while we filled the balloons. Ethan, the master of the Hawaiian ukulele, was playing live on the radio from the KVRX bathroom (request it at it’s very good music). We had downed a lot of beer, and had roasted weiners with bbq sauce and ate water melon. Chase, Richard’s room mate, ran inside with a water balloon and threw it at Richard’s face while he was filling some balloons up in the bathroom. We all agreed that this was a heinous act. He would have gotten the book thrown at him if there were some sort of water balloon court or something.
The actual war took place on Duval street. We brought the tub into Richard’s front yard (you can see a picture of it here: and the fight began. I got hit hard! Andrea got one from Rosemary. Richard got Chase back! And, oh shit, Chase hits a total stranger who was walking on the street. And the guy was so cool about it. I mean he just said, “that’s alright.” And he just left. Chase ran after him and said sorry while the guy was flinching and twitching. Richard and I went into the middle of the street and got back to back. I counted ten paces. We turned, and threw! Richard nailed me in the stomach, and mine hit a car.
Overall it was a very good time! Like I told the girl at CVS who waited on me when I was buying the materials, “I am having a water balloon party with some of my friends. You can copy me if you want. You know, like, with your friends. There is no way that this isn’t going to be fun.” The girl looked at me with squinty eyes. She nodded and chewed her gum with a contemptuous smack.
“You have fun with that. $2.15 is your total.”
She is missing out. Don’t you miss out on the chance of getting to throw a water balloon at somebody you don’t even know. Maybe it’s time for people to get wet out there.

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