The Gypsy Padlock Doctrine
The Gypsy Padlock Doctrine
by brett stout
I received a message at 8:43 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
She says “hiâ€
Three minutes later she asks me what I’m doing
There is no answer on the other end
I received a message at 9:12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
She asks me why I’m avoiding her
She asks me if we’re still friends
There is no answer on the other end
I received a message at 9:44 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
She asks me what’s wrong
She once again asks me why I’m avoiding her
She asks what she did wrong
There is no answer on the other end
I received a message at 10:17 p.m. Eastern Standard Time
She calls me a fucking asshole
She says that she regrets ever fucking me
She says it ruined our friendship
There is no answer on the other end
I was taking a nap and didn’t wake up until 11:28 Eastern Standard Time
I took a sip of coffee and scratched my balls
I lit a light flavored cigarette
I saw her messages
Even though she was acting a little psychotic I say hi
There was no answer on the other end
+++
Oh that’s classic! I didn’t think i was gonna like the repetition with ‘received a message..’ and ‘there is no answer..’ but it was crucial to the poem/story. Silence is indeed a harsh critic and creator of paranoia. Thanks. I left this comment at 4:15 pm Central Standard Time. There’ll probably be no reply on the other end. he-he..
Quasimofo, you continue to win the commenter of the year award. Too bad H and H has seemingly lost that lovin’ feeling on those that care to comment. Are we getting to lazy in the things we have to say? Blogging would tell us otherwise.
I like this poem, its the least racy of the 3 Brett sent, but it tells a very clear story, exercises character development and somehow provides us a “been there before” feeling all in a few stanzas. Nicely done.
Yeah, I love this one too. . . Oh, so tired, I just can’t conjure up anything else to say. . .
I hear you.
I always appreciate getting comments on my work but when I go to make a comment on someone else’s, all I can think about is how absurd it is to just say I liked it, absurd to say anything constructive about it if it is missing something indefinable. If I don’t like it, how rude it would be of me to say so. I am new at writing and so uneducated in poetry in general that I feel my comments wouldn’t really add anything and I would take away less from the poems if I did.
yeah, commenting can be an absurd process. I just want to let the writer know that I enjoy and appreciate his/her work, just like I appreciate it when someone else says something positive about my work. I just give back, you know? If I don’t have something positive to say I don’t say anything at all. Most of the time.
What’s absurd is the whole commenting/blogging process. People can be such bastards out there. The internet brings out the nasty side in some folks. It’s like road rage or something. Wrapped in our invisible shell, we feel like angry gods. There should be a term for it. Takers? I think, maybe, the “Information SuperRage Way.” Eh, that sucks. It’s not catchy enough. Surf Rage?
Yeah, i always hope to spread the ‘loving feeling’ and bring about a poetic orgy lovefest bacchanal [while listening to Bach?]. I’m no topgun and i usually don’t shower after volleyball at my date’s govt. housing. Commenting is its own award, but if you can swing it, a Petra Verkaik blow-up doll would be nice. (or Aria Giovanni).
Indeed, absurdity knee-deep in the plurality {in the eye of the begroaner?} .. I think every poet has stages they go thru like reaching for Nirvana or Soundgarten or Alice in Chains. There is the poet who wants to be recognized , to feel some fame and inclusion, which is in all of us .. at one point or another and continuous in degrees. Like to a Hierarchy of Maslow’s needs i guess. Of course the mere expression and sharing of our creativity is a pure source unto itself and virtual well-spring. Individualism abounds even when necessary mimicry tests formulas for artistic growing pains. Eventually there is the realization that poetry lies at the most basic molecule of creative expression and way of life tao.
So there are many items to appreciate here and comment on: form, style, content, impressions, and counter-creations inspired by the work read…as beautiful ‘blow-back’ or the ball bouncing across the net of a tennis court taking shape in shot from the creator of its motion. “All that is important about poetry is the enjoyment of it” -Dylan Thomas-
Instead of saying you ‘like’ a poem, you can say “I lick this poem”…”and it tastes pretty damn good like vanilla honey-dew on Scarlet Johanson’s hipbone”. That would work for me.