My Private Beard
My Private Beard
by dirk michener
today i began growing my beard
its at sandpaper level
girls don’t like beards
too much like their privates
my beard is very private no
keeps to itself
girls don’t like kissing their privates
unless they’re queer
then they’ve no reason to kiss me
one who has a private beard
Oh, i don’t know. I think there’s a lot of bisexuals out there who would say: “Come on over big boy!” …And I think it’s the bi’s who are shaven except for a little tuft at the top, which strikes me as very japanese garden with your own little pet banzai to feed, water, and trim as you like. So, the masculine equivalent is the goat-tee (maybe?)..not too metrosexual or too ‘civil war general’ but kinda striking a balance and just right for cunnilingus & mopping up the natural juices…which some girls like according to Cosmo. It’s something to think about. Besides, the guys from ZZ Top are surrounded by girls in a ‘Planet of Women’…there’s are celebrity beards, however…
I’ve read this confessional-like poem somewhere before… I agree with some of Quasimofo’s comments. (A lot of us are suckers for a goatee or a softer version of the Van Dyck.) Beards are becoming on some men, depending on the style, like the one pictured. If you like your beard, don’t shave it for anyone. Not until your wife tells you, anyway. Ha-ha…