Everything Will Remain Purple
by pat a physics
There were the three of us. There was Gretchen and me. Aldo had come home with us from work. We were not having as much fun as we had anticipated. I had wished that we had gone shopping at the mall. Banana Republic, the Gap, and the new American Apparel is where I wanted to be. I bemoaned the fact that I did not have cute clothes. Gretchen told me that nothing looked good on me because I was fat. She is such a bitch.
At our apartment, these two small, old ladies came out into the carport to smoke. We eavesdropped on their conversation from our bedroom while getting high. One of them told the other one that when she pooped it had smelled an awful lot like KFC. The other one agreed that there was a spicy aroma when she had followed her in the bathroom that evening. I was crying tears from laughter into our bong, and the tears mixed with the murky water. The old lady who had smelled it told the other one that she needed to visit her niece at the hospital. The other lady invited herself along, but the smeller persuaded her to stay. She quickly left. They had looked so funny and puny next to the SUVs talking about what shit smelled like.
Aldo had provided us with some kind bud. The effects were hitting us as we turned on the shitty television. Some bullshit came on telling us about teeth whitening plates. Cloned smiling mouths appeared in a split screen as the picture became clearer. I went to the kitchen to get us some beer, and felt like I was controlling my actions from far away. I put my hand into the fridge and watched the steam cascade over my hand. It was an intense feeling, this high. Aldo yelled from the other room. I snapped out of it and brought the beer.
Gretchen was laying next to Aldo on the bed. She was messing with his hair. Aldo was smiling and feeling up Gretchen. I was sighing and feeling jealous. I felt jealous because I was not a part of anything. I didn’t have anyone feeling me up. I wasn’t messing with anyone’s hair. Gretchen detected my morose behavior with a sneer. I took a big gulp of beer and looked at the flickering images of a waving lady and a dog. She asked me to either chill the fuck out or leave. Aldo surprised us both by telling Gretchen to chill out. I felt like leaving, but where would I go.
I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I wasn’t so bad looking. My hair was curly and hung down to my shoulders in a dark, shiny swoop. My face was free of acne, and my nose was a little big- but it had character to it. My mom’s nose. I pulled off my shirt and looked at my belly. It was poking out, but I inhaled and it looked better. I was a total size 9, and that sucked. I exhaled and started to cry. I heard moaning from the other room. I stopped crying and pressed up against the door with my ear. It was happening and I stood there in disbelief. I slowly slid down the door as the sound got louder. After the orgasm, I heard Aldo head to the kitchen and open a beer. I sat on the floor of the bathroom, next to the closed door, half awake.
I hit my head really hard against the door when the knocking came. Gretchen pushed and I fell over. She kept pushing and I screamed. I caught my hand beneath the door and she stopped. I opened the door slowly. She was naked in the hall with her hands in her hair. She was so skinny and had straight hair that caught the light from the bathroom from behind her shoulders. Her skin looked pale in the darkness. She had an all over tan, but standing there she looked the color of a china plate. Such pert breasts were only found on people like Gretchen, and I traced her curves standing there. She smiled and asked me to move out of the way.
In the kitchen, Aldo was naked also. I asked if this apartment was turning into a nudist colony, and Aldo nodded. It thrilled me that this was all happening. I had never had sex before. Let alone with two other people. Then it dawned on me that there was a camera. It was sitting there in the living room, on a tripod, flashing it’s little red light at us in the kitchen. I became ill with rage. I took the camera and ran out the front door. I realized that I had no shirt on, but that is how I had to do it. Unfortunately, one of the elderly ladies who we had been spying on was outside and started screaming. I rushed past her and knocked her over. Suddenly, I was in the parking lot and running toward the intersection. I could hear someone gasping, someone laughing, and someone shouting slut at the top of his lungs.
In dreams, when you are running from an unseen enemy, things slow down and it seems to stretch into an eternity. Now, in real life, in a bewilderingly sober chase, I felt time speeding up. It was as if I were running into a time warp. I broke into the back of a dry cleaners down the street and hid the camera in a laundry basket full of sheets. I sorted through some clothes until I found some that fit me. I ducked into the back alley, and walked into a residential neighborhood. It was about to be morning I realized. It was curious to me that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with the rest of the day. At least it was my day off of work. I saw a park, and went to the swing set. I started swinging in the swing. Everything looked purple around me. I wished that everything would remain purple.
Everything Will Remain Purple