Baby Daddy

baby daddy
by wisdom moon
my eyes opened slightly to peer at the time clock…
“6:01″…I think its weird how I just naturally wake up on time without having to set my radio…
stretching, I roll my eyes as the phone blares in my ear…
“what the fuk, who is calling me so early”
in a irritated morning voice I reply, “this better be important”
“shut up nigga, what you doin, wake up”
a smile peers across my face at the tone of my babydaddy
“wussup dude, why you callen me so early”
“you aint goin to school today, i’ma come swoop you”
“no you aint, I got a test today”
“so make it up tomorrow”
I can hear his beat slumpen out in the background so I know he’s in his car
“plus i’m already on my way to get you…so get up nigga”
“mutha fuka it’s 6:00 in the damn morning..why is you already up and about”
“girl I been in the city hustlen all night…made me about a G, and I wanna be wiff you today”
my stomach starts to turn with butterflies…and I wonder..why is it that he can make me feel like this…a lil irritated I reply..
“where ya bitch at…aint you got somethin to do with her today”
“come on girl…dont start that with me…I wanna see you today..”
“oh my goodness…alright…let me get up…and get ready..but you gotta give me some time dude…the babies are still sleeping….so you gotta come get them and take them to the daycare..”
“aiight shit, I was gon’ do that anyways…i’m down the street, i’ma stop at bonnie’s and then i’ll be up there”
“and hurrry up!”
I remove one lil arm and one lil leg from wrapped around me and kiss my lil mamas good morning…
she’s so beautiful when she sleeps…I just want to watch her for a minute…I think its beautiful the way she curls up under me and sleeps like an angel all night..
she’s 6 yrs old and already been thru so much…I just want to let her sleep for awhile…
while in the shower, my mind always drifts thru different thoughts…knowing I probably shouldn’t be kicken it with him like that..I just cant help it..anytime I can get with him I always take advantage of…and lately its been more and more that he wants to kick it…maybe that means he’s getting tired of his bitch and wants to come back home…I shouldnt let him..but I can never say no to him…
getting out the shower I drift to my closet and try and pick something cute I know he will like me in..I reach for the yellow sundress and my brown platform sandals…gotta get my sexy on …to keep this nigga wanting to come back…
I look across the room at my sleeping 2 yr old angel..she stirs in her sleep and pops up her lil head, her eyes are not even all the way open and she’s smilen like the sunshine..
“hiiiii mamas!!”
her sleepy eyes open and her arms stretch out…as I pick her up and flood her lil cheeks with morning kisses…
“hiiii pretty baby, did you have a good sleep??”
she buries her head in my chest, still sleepy and rests..
my eyes flood with tears, cuz she looks so much like her daddy, and I miss our lil family, I hold her for as long as she lets me, then boom…she wiggles and jumps down and runs to the bathroom..
“mommmie I peepeeeeee”
laughing I race to the bathroom…
“you did it mommmmy yeayeeeee!!!! you pee pee’d in your pottie”
“I a big girl now, I go peepee”
she sits on her lil disney potty and smiles to herself that she knows she is a big girl now..
“mommy is soooo proud of you mamas, let me wipe you, then you gotta go in the bath with you sister, your daddy is gon’ take you to school today”
“yes baby , daddy”
“mommie I wuv daddy”
“I know do I”
I start the water and start for my room trying to hold back the tears… he makes me so angry sometimes…but mostly it makes me sad that he’s left…I could just kill the bitch he’s with…but I know its not her fault…its just him…and i’m weak cuz I allow him to fuk me whenever he wants…but I love him..and I think that with time, he’ll be back…he’s just doin his thug thang right now…tryn’a pimp this bitch…and I cant stop him…so I justify his actions….I mean..if he didnt love me..why would he always be trying to be with me…
“hi mommy” a groggy lil 6 yr old voice replies as I turn the corner to my room
“hiiii baby, did you have a good sleep??”
“yes, but i’m still tired…do we havvvvve to go to school today??”
“yes mommie you do…you know that ma”
“are you gonna go to school today mom”
as if she already knew my plans…of cutting out with her dad…she’s so wise…a psychic once told me she was an old soul..had lived many lifetimes before…and that she was part of my soul, in my life during every lifetime…once when she was about 3, me and my mom were in the kitchen and she was touching something she wasnt suppose moms told her to stop it, and she turned, looked at her nana with her hands on her hips and said..”i was your mother!”
freaked me out thinking that my grandmother had been manifested into my 3 yr old daughter..but hey..ya never know..
“yes, i’ma go to school today” I hate lying to her..but if she knew I was gon’ be with her dad today..she’d wanna ride out too, so I fib and tell her yes
“come on ladies you gotta get in the bath, cuz your dad is gonna be here to take you to school”
“daddies coming mom? ”
“yes babe, your dad’s gonna take you to school today.”
“hmmm why cant you take us mom”
“cuz i’m running late baby, and your dad called and wants to see you”
“well then he should see us at night, not only for a minute before we go to school”
“tell him that mams”
“I will”
see what I mean about her being older then her age…seems like she’s stronger than me sometimes..
as I get them out of the bath and dry them off, I reach for there lil gap fits and get them dressed, do their hair and get their breakfast ready
I can hear his beat coming around the corner, half way down the street..
thru lil shrieks I hear..”daddy’s here, daddy’s here!!!”
my lil baby rushes to the door and flings open the screen and runs onto the porch jumping up and down…
“daddy, dadddddddy”
his magnetic, beautiful brown body surfaces from his acura and the smile that had me gone since I was 14 yrs old sends chills up my spine..he races up the stairs and swoops his babygirl into his arms..planting kisses all over her, he slides by me and kisses my cheek..
“hey ma, you got the babies ready to go?”
“yea, they just have to finish eating…”
he sets the baby down and with that same smoovness captivates his oldest daughter…
kissing her on her cheek, and twisting her curls…”you look real pretty today you feel”
“i’m fine daddy, where have you been all night, it looks like you havent slept”
laffin he swoops his lil girl up and tells her she shouldnt act older then her age…
“well lil lady your daddy’s been out maken that money.” he slides her a 20 dollar bill and tells her to put it in her pocket..
“dont let nobody take your money ma, you a ballers baby, you always suppose to have scratch on you, save it for after school and i’ll take you to the candy store aiight”
“okay daddy” she snatches the money and stashes it in her lil pocket and runs off
in the kitchen i’m washing the dishes out, and he comes up behind me…
“hey girl…you look pretty today too…smell so good…mommie I miss you so much…”
and he wraps his arms around me sneaking a pill in my pocket…and whispers in my ear
“gah on and take that pill ma, i’ma take the babies to school, and i’ll be back in like 30 minutes to get you, by that time you should be feelen it, we gon’ go have some fun today”
I hesitate, but his addiction is to strong…him mixed with some good ecstasy…
I can’t never resist…

0 thoughts on “Baby Daddy

  1. My mother always told me that if i can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all. . .
    That being said, this is the kind of piece that would cause me to steer my friends away from H & H. I want them to read and absorb the works of Quasi, of Halifax, of Benz. This reads like it was written by an uneducated high schooler. The only redemption might be that wisdom moon was trying to write incredibly poorly in an attempt to create a character. . . in that case, this is ok. But, if this is a genuine attempt at writing a story. . . ouch. It starts badly, with the redundant phrase “time clock” (not the punch into work kind), and it ends poorly, with “I can’t never resist.” Ugh. There’s so much in terms of bad spelling and unintelligible grammar. I do, however, like the part about her child being her reincarnated grandmother. That was nice. It held me. The rest. . . blah. This is really out of place for H & H. I’m confused.
    Sorry to be the Simon here, but I had to say something in the hopes that this kind of work stays in high schooler’s journals and out of H & H. I’m shocked at how mean I’m being.

  2. I disagree Misener. I read this through three times and found a different point of interest each time. I was particularly struck by the use of the words lil, mama, and justify.
    This is painful to read grammatically but I think it was written that way on purpose. It’s a bit long for work on Haggard and Halloo. I felt I could understand the characters motivations well enough through the piece and the layered generational references helped sell me on the idea.
    My only issue was with the use of ecstasy. It felt tacked on and unnecessary. I would like to reread it without it. The purpose of the pill I thought was as a birth control pill- leading me to believe for a moment that this generational situation had found an out. Instead it confused into a self-acknowledged drug addiction. Those kinds of stories are well played out. Change that and I entirely like this poem/prose piece.

  3. It’s good to disagree. We shouldn’t enjoy every single item posted on H and H. We want to post a variety of work, from all walks of life for the 2000+ individuals who stop by each day, read us on their feeds, etc.

  4. Right on. I’m usually the Paula Abdul of H & H, only positive comments. This time I couldn’t help myself. I would actually like to see more variety of pos/neg comments on every piece. I’m trying to comment more, including critiques.

  5. The counterposed language in this is interesting and adds a huge amount of complexity to the story, e.g. “oh my goodness” set against ““where ya bitch at…aint you got somethin to do with her today”. The different interactions also add depth – language for children, language for adults. Its all context, one rolling into the other and mixing around, while in the process slowly revealing the broader context of each lives involved, even those apparently outside the immediate picture, e.g. grandma manifested into a three year old. Calling the children by the various names for mom is also complex and potentially interesting – I don’t understand it immediately but I something is going on in the writer’s intention. No matter how I look at this piece, it seems like a complex text that is very well constructed – particulary considering the nuanced way in which it reveals relevant detail without just blurting it out. At least that’s my take. I’m glad I spent the time reading this – I thought it was captivating.

  6. I don’t think the ecstasy thing was just tacked on. It explains her addiction to baby daddy, the obvious sexual intent he has (she thinks he loves her and that’s why he keeps coming around, but when he slips her the pill and we find out what it is we have to realize that its all about sex for him, even if she doesn’t realize it) and the shallowness of something that she is trying so hard to make three dimensional and fulfilling.
    It was a decent read, with language and grammar and syntax all cohesive to the culture and setting. The only thing I hope is that its not autobiographical, cuz that kind of living is so sad and unhealthy for everyone involved, especially those little mamas.

  7. See- I don’t think it is about the sex for him. He has a prostitute he manages. What he is coming around for is the sense of purpose to justify what he is doing. He has a family. He can play at being a hero. This is when he feels good. It might be that he slips her the pill because he doesn’t really believe in the situation and needs to have a control over it. As long as she is medicated, it is his experience of “honesty” and has no fear it is a condition she can turn around on him for control.
    If the writer emphasized this power relationship the “addiction” use would be compelling. As it stands I have to create that for myself with very little evidence to support it in the reading. Either get rid of it or make that situation more clear. Reducing the title character into a baseless hunger driven mammal strips this work of any meaningful content. People may work like that but in this situation, in my reading, it feels dishonest and pointless.

    Sorry, i haven’t seen this much passion in a while over a piece. I can see both sides. Sex is the major form of entertainment and escape among poor people (cause it’s inexpensive) so I’d say they both major characters want it just in different ways . The father is immature and is addicted to more ‘bad stuff’ than just the pills. The mother is addicted to him, he is her pill, so there’s some double play going on here. Nice work in portraying (and i would hope not celebrating) ghetto America.
    That being said, I have to say ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’ not the begrudger. While I can appreciate the artistic effort here (even without conventional punctuating etc.) and applaud it as an intense ‘slice of life’/perspective, I begrudge it because i believe it’s cliche’-ridden. I have to agree with Misener somewhat on various points. The whole ‘Gansta rap, boys in the hood, down and out in the urban ghetto’ has just been done to death. It’s everywhere…in music, on t.v., movies, sports, fashion, to the point where it’s the ‘cool thing’ to talk gangsta and pop a cap in someone’s ass just to watch is ho-ass bitch-ass die in Compton. That’s just my own opinion…i’m sure some may think the same of my stuff…that’s ok. But I’ve worked in a prison before and seen many ‘baby daddys’ visit 2-3 kids on weekends and see it in their eyes as they wonder what got them there and why they were so stupid. The author’s intent is most likely a ‘wake-up call’ for these people, good. But in the meantime, I can do without the ‘Grand Theft Auto Internetville’.
    The piece obviously stimulated interest…different strokes for different folks…and different viewpoints. Good job all!

  9. I’ve held my peace long enough… With all respect to contributors, guests, and the editor, I have to express some disappointment. Some of the subtly elitist/racist/sexist comments usually make me laugh to keep from crying. But these induce eye rolling.
    It’s definitely not the greatest thing since Toni Morrison’s “The Bluest Eye”, but “Baby Daddy” has its heartfelt moments of reality (i.e., “I start the water and start for my room trying to hold back the tears… he makes me so angry sometimes…but mostly it makes me sad that he’s left…”), that I don’t care who wrote it or why. I dislike reality TV and clichés, but this is neither upon first reading and rereading.
    I would have liked better mechanics (if not grammar) – with better transitions for emphasis of a character speaking, and the last two lines seemed… forced. And I can understand how some may take offense with the grammar or so-called “ghetto speak”, but like it or not, the dialogue between mother and daddy, mother and child has a compassionate realness that has nothing to do with “gangsta rap” or bad video games, or a woman being reduced to a mammal (we’re all mammals), or even something in “high schooler’s journal”.
    I take offense with Wisdom Moon’s work immediately dismissed as being something unworthy of being posted on H&H, _and_ its author’s canonization in the literary observation of the “ghetto America” experience.
    It has been many moons since an editor’s post has invited this much criticism. It’s inspiring as an H&H reader and contributor. I’m sure even those whose comments I disagreed with would agree.
    Thank goodness censorship is not an issue here!

  10. Much agreed on the necessity of free speech.
    For clarity sake, when I wrote ‘mammal” I was not referring to tthe female character of this story. I was putting forward an argument against the previous commenter. My argument was that the title character in Baby Daddy, “Baby daddy”, has deeper motivations than simple sex drive.
    I’m in complete agreement about the last two lines of Baby Daddy. I have enjoyed the responsive interaction this piece has inspired. Nice choice editor!

  11. Nice points, Danna, sorry to offend in regards to ‘rascism/elitism/sexism’…I certainly hadn’t intended such. I’ve seen all races talk ‘gang’, act ‘gang’, live ‘gang’…be it Aryan Nation, Aryan Circle, Tango Blast, Mexican Mafia, Bloods, or Crips. I think that ‘herd mentality’ in these regards is too celebrated in our culture and causes a penchant for downward spiral through getting involved in bad elements, which is not particular to any race, but seemingly more widespread among poor people. That’s all I meant. The story is powerful and much of it I don’t feel is cliche’. I think the situation the story talks about is…with no real solutions and no real lights at the end of the tunnel, and about helpless people who can only be less of themselves than what God intended…hard core, down and out, no hope, that’s just the way it is…too many stories with this same setting, plot, and conclusion, i feel. So it’s shitty, what are we gonna do about it? That’s all.

  12. “Back in the day” comments #’d like this on a regular basis. It makes me happy to see so many again. It’s very odd to realize the handful of writers I began this website for/with no longer write for H and H on a regular basis. None of them. Not one. My how H and H has evolved over the last 14 years.
    In the past I’ve defended why I would post this, that or the other, but I don’t have to and I won’t. I think we all realize why and I’ll leave it at that.
    I will shed some light on this particular post though. Years ago when H and H was younger and we needed more writers I would personally scour the internet in forums, groups, other poetry sites, etc. to look for writers that I thought would fit H and H. I came across this piece in 2003 and tucked it away somewhere. I did contact Wisdom Moon and she never replied. I found it again recently in a stash of work I put in a file and posted the first half of it here. I did find Wisdom Moon again and she is still writing, but over the years her writing has changed and is nothing like this. She is in fact a very intelligent, non-african american female.
    Comment away.

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