Paralyzed Victim
paralyzed victim
by gene defcon
Wink your way to safety
Drag your body across the floor
Using the muscles of your face
Smile away as fast as you can
Furrow your brow up the stairs
Clench your jaw through the doggy door
Before I awake
And lock you back in the basement
Looking at the title, I didn’t think I’d like this, but I like this. I specifically like lines 5 and 6. Line 2 doesn’t do it for me. I’m puzzled by lines 1,3, and 4. But the last two lines bring the whole thing together nicely. Well done.
So, the way I see this – right or wrong – is the expression of emotion on ones face somehow escaping the notice or control of the face’s owner. And once the owner finds out his expressions are getting loose he’s going to lock them up again.
Pretty cool.
He likes line five because you used the word “furrow” and furrow is an awesome word.
this kicks ass – in a demented sort of way. I could read it symbolically, but its more fun at face value.
short and sweet.
or sour?
whatever makes you happy.
the last two lines are hauntingly beauiful.
It’s really simple folks. You’re paralyzed
and you have to escape. Every word makes
sense, and I’m laughing my ass off. My legs
went numb and I gotta smile myself to the
bathroom before I piss my pants…