don't read the papers anymore

don’t read the papers anymore
by daniel
and that cheeseburger
from that place on the North End
where that young girl
sat at the bar
with her slim back to me
and those rose coloured canvas shoes
where she sighed
like the world was on her shoulders
as she spoke to the Brazilian cook
“this is why I don’t read the papers anymore”

0 thoughts on “don't read the papers anymore

  1. I don’t know what you were going for, but this poem is just forgetable. The reason why this poem doesn’t work is it’s lack of context. You do a decent job of setting the tone and a sense of place, but there isn’t anything here to make it memorable to the reader. It’s like this took you 2 minutes writing this in a moleskin.

  2. I agree with some of that. Minimalist poetry, and art for that matter, puts a burden on the reader’s imagination, perception, and even experience. I found the bread crumbs here and came away satiated, but i can see how others would not. That’s the risk with this style, i suppose.

  3. I don’t know. The first stanza is as minimal as it comes, but then the poem builds with increasing detail into something like a context, then throws it all into the fire with the last line. There’s something I like about this, but I can’t put my finger on it.

  4. It’s the Brazilian cook line that threw me. I can read this as two people set to meet each other from the singles section in the want-ads. Cold feet or lack of interest in the “nothing” but then there’s the Brazilian cook.
    Dear Slim-back Literate,
    Meet me at that Brazilian restaurant off Hoffsteaders on the North End at ten and wear red Keds. I’ll wearing an ironic smirk.
    Missed Connection Tamping an English Oval on a Moleskin .

  5. This is quite good. I’m particularly fond of short, punchy poetry, and this works quite well. A couple of minor changes I would make would be to substitute “in” for “on” in the line, “from that place on the North End, and to change “that” to “a” when talking about the cheeseburger, otherwise….well done. In fact, you know it’s well done when JOECLOYD has nothing good to say about it.

  6. Haha… It pleases me to no end to see so many comments on individual poems. It’s one of the main reasons this site exists and whats makes us different, as a community, from the few others that claim to post a new poem each day. I like moving from more complicated poetry to simple, direct ones. Variety is nice. Great comments. Well thought out and relevant. Personally, I write in this style and in a more cryptic style as well so it’s good to read other people’s poetry in these styles. I’ve said this before, but it’s a great thing to be on the immediate forefront of the continuum of poetry. The more energy our readers and writers exert withing H and H, the more I’m compelled to give.
    We really need to start on the next print issue.

  7. I clicked on this because it has so many comments. The thing about so many comments is that it makes me more keenly consider the poem. I don’t really have any comments to make on this poem but I really enjoyed reading the other comments.

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