Hills No More

Hills No More (Return of The Whooshay)
by shawn misener
The Body of Christ melts in your mouth
not in your hand.
Jesus would be better served as milk chocolate
laced with expensive shiraz
and dusted with dehydrated lake trout
They sell cheap centimeters of his tunic on Ebay
and people twitter about him sixteen times a minute:
Jesus is with me
Jesus is with them
Jesus is my co-pilot
Jesus is my co-signer
And so on
If Jesus were to die tonight
Fox News would be on it
raising questions about his alleged affair with Mary Magdalene
Mormons would start digging holes into hills
until there were hills no more
just odd Seussian organic monoliths
allegedly in the shape of the late Jesus Christ
Then they would retire to the dairy store for ice cream
conversing like big geese about the infinite potential of Resurrection
Whooshay poses as one of them
replete with white shirt and crisply ironed tie
licking blue moon out of a waffle cone
saying:
If he doesn’t come back in this dimension
surely he will return in one of the others
Elder Johnson writes it all down
wonders what his chances of being an apostle are
and wiggles closer and closer to Whooshay
We need more ice cream
he confides
a halo of industrial smoke rising behind his head
from the chocolate factory the next town over
A moment of enlightenment falls upon all 227 of them
and for once they forget about Jesus
and obsess about delicious ice cream flavors instead

0 thoughts on “Hills No More

  1. Travis, thanks for publishing this. It’s the last thing I wrote before becoming deathly sick several months ago and I haven’t written anything since. I’ve been in and out of the hospital, almost kicked the bucket twice, and am just now back at home. I’m trying hard to conjure new words, but this piece is very special to me because it embodies what I think of as my own unique style, pre- surgeries. So, thanks again. I love this one. Time to create new.

  2. glad to hear of your death defiance, misener.
    “licking blue moon out of a waffle cone”
    thank you for that.
    Ever see tom waits perform “chocolate jesus” on letterman in the 80s? (its on youtube). Your work totally scored a mood-point with me in relation to that.

  3. Really nice poetry here Misener, but I don’t understand the Whooshay. When I looked it up, there was only one notable authority on the subject (that I could find) and his name was Shawn Misener. Something about a novel.
    Sorry to hear about your health woes, but apparently all’s well that ends well.

  4. Yeah Jim, I guess the Whooshay is kind of a personal project. I’ve been writing the novel about him for a couple of years now. He’s a consumerist/ materialistic cult leader and Ayatollah of a fictional country. I guess in submitting this i didn’t realize that most of the readers have no idea who he is, because I’ve bounced the idea off several staff writers here.
    Glad you enjoyed the work. And thanks for the well-wished regarding my health. Life is a fight now. . . hopefully I don’t come out of it spouting chessy hallmark poetry.

  5. …you might actually find yourself with a buying audience then…sorry, just true. People who buy words pay for cheese. It’s something they can retain. Anything of substance just goes through them like bulk fibre. Who would pay for that?

  6. This does strike me as an ‘odd Seussian organic monolith’ and i immensely enjoy for the pure satisfaction of the enjoyment. ‘Whooshay’ sorta reminds me of ‘Kilgore Trout’ in Vonnegut novels but is in a world of his own, i’m sure. Hooking up with Mormans is very interesting for the ‘whooshay’ and i’m sure there’s more adventures where that came from.
    You need to get your ‘groove on’ since October is preparation month for November which is Nano Wrimo month…novel/novella writers do your stuff to the tune of 50,000 words…You can do it!
    “A moment of enlightenment falls upon Misener
    and for once he forgets about sponge baths
    and obsesses about the beauty of word-smithing [naked].”
    LOL.

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