by shannon peil
and weâ€™re not too different
but heâ€™s been cut by management
cost of living rises
and the pay keeps going down
yesterday he was complaining about not making enough
today heâ€™s being walked out by a fat lady
with a little box full of his shit
and tomorrow heâ€™ll be complaining about not making anything
and thatâ€™s just the way of the world
the weak and old who donâ€™t get paid enough
get fired in an instant so the young can pick up the slack
twenty grand in the hole for medical bills
but they didnâ€™t fix him, never will
they just gave him pills
to keep him alive long enough to buy more
but enough about him
Iâ€™m twenty-four now and I should be making more money.
0 thoughts on “he's fifty”
There’s something about this that I like a lot, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it could use a re-write, to improve the flow, and maybe to pack more punch into the last stanza. I think it’s supposed to be funny, and it could be if it were written more carefully (the last stanza). That being said, my attention was held throughout, and that’s more than can be said for 95% of the poetry out there.
I pretty much just scanned it, but I laughed my ass off at the final line. The rest, I thought, was pretty well drawn, and set-up the end beautifully.