the god emails

THE GOD EMAILS
by jeff shepard
stop sending me those goddamed god emails.
you are old,
you are going to die soon,
you are afraid.
i am old,
i am going to die soon,
i am not afraid.
send me funny emails,
send me cute little animal emails,
send me emails about anything else,
but for christ’s sake,
stop sending me those goddamed god emails,
mother.

0 thoughts on “the god emails

  1. “goddamed”? and where’s the prohibition on chain mail? frankly, I think she should stop with the cute little animal ones too. I like the way this poem holds back the identity of the offender til the end. it makes a so-so rant just a little bit better.

  2. Short, sweet, and to the point! “stop sending me those goddamed god emails” at beginning and end nice touch! Really drives point home! Mother is a tough old bat!
    Not too long ago i read a chain e-mail. i didn’t realize it was one in the beginning. The main body was actually pretty deep and truthful stuff and then it got to the end and said e-mail this to five people and something miraculous will happen at 10:30 a.m. tomorrow. I was like, ‘what a croc of shit!’ about the last part but then i was like ‘what the hell’.
    So i e-mail it to 5 people. One of them is Halifax who replies: “Don’t send chain-mails; i thought i was your friend.” …and i’m like ‘oh shit’–this really is a personal thing like getting relatives to join Amway or something. So i wait till 10:30 the next day just to be able to bitch cause i knew nothing was gonna happen. Nothing happens. But in the afternoon i get a mailservicedeliveryerror.blahblah. Turns out that one of the 5 people had changed their e-mail and it was no longer functional. What if?!? What if?!?

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