Met a guy at the 7-11 on Sun.
He hopped in my car and slept on my couch,
Now I canâ€™t shake him.
Says he knew Elvis, met Johnny Depp, and wants to live in Bellingham.
Wants me to drive him there.
He smelled bad until I did his laundry,
Left rings of grime in my sink.
Told me his name was Joshua, till I bought him an Amtrak ticket online
Turns out it’s really: Jacob Adams.
Jacob Adams was in a porn movie called the Ribald Tales of Robin Hood or some such shit–
Met Hugh Hefner when he was a boy.
His dad threw him into Hefnerâ€™s pool and said, â€œsink or swim.â€
He laughed telling this story. Made me wanna cry, because boy did
Jacob Adams sink.
He thinks he might be a movie star, he looks like Santa, he swept my floor.
Heâ€™s leaving tomorrow.