sleep deprived

sleep deprived
by scout finch
you’re falling asleep, me rubbing your back.
an hour later you’ll wake up and
find yourself exhausted, not wanting to go
work through the night pushing boxes around
and putting their contents in the proper
places, dreaming of the call informing you
of your new job selling sofas full time
(if it makes you happy, go for it)
while i’ll stay up through the night
watching meaningless tv shows and doing
absolutely nothing else because
i am unable to fall asleep without
you right next to me or because while you
were out selling your plasma to have more
money for weed i took a nap.
i want to kick and scream and
wake you up. for once i’d tell
you what i’m really thinking. i can’t.
i’d rather just keep to myself. your
one and only wall flower i will be.
i’ll stay beside you and wait a
couple hours while you sleep wondering
when i’ll muster up the courage to talk
to you about everything. i know and
have seen a lot but what you know
and have seen seems more significant.
perhaps if we combined our knowledge
we’d figure out life.
but for now, the clock reading 8:33,
i’ll just let you sleep while
i go and smoke a cigarette.