The Dough Boy

The Dough Boy
by Shawn Misener
The Dough Boy scrambled across the table
giggling and squealing and knocking over wine glasses
I was the giant crashing onto the table behind him
armed with an ancient wooden roller
and an underused pair of salad tongs
I wanted to snatch him up with the tongs
and bash in his head with the roller
until the giggling was squashed forever
My wife didn’t believe me
she said she couldn’t see the Dough Boy
when he mocked my cooking in the kitchen
my paunch in the bathroom
my funny sex faces in the bedroom
and my ineptitude in the garden
When she came into the dining room
and found me flailing on the table once again
she decided it was time for divorce
“I didn’t know that the Dough Boy came with the package,”
she would later say to her chain-smoking sister

0 thoughts on “The Dough Boy

  1. Nice commentary. Very science fiction in a way. Nothing like constant surveillance stacked with brutal critiques to drive a guy to “flailing on the table again.” My guess it’s sort of a metaphor for a world that’s no longer conducive with the concept of privacy. Between marketers, social networks, and homeland security who can find a private place to cook, piss, fuck, and tend to one’s own garden…

      1. The part about the garden has been on my mind since I first read this… It reminded me of Voltaire’s “Candid”. Ever read it? If not, you’d probably like it. Think of it as something Kurt Vonnegut would’ve written if he were French and lived during the 18th c.

  2. “A-hoo-hoo!” Wasn’t that the sound the Doughboy made when you gently pressed his soft white tummy? Hahahaha! i loved this. It made me laugh and stirred my escapist daydreaming mentality.
    Sure, we all have a monkey on our back. But some of us, apparently, have a Doughboy. ‘Paunch’–very descriptive!
    Favorite line: “I wanted to snatch him up with the tongs and bash in his head with the roller until the giggling was squashed forever”
    I think what really makes this poem adventuresome and delightfully absurd is how the poet takes an icon typically seen as peaceful and complacent and demonizes it turning it 360 degrees into something that evokes derision and defeat. Great piece! I say we taze that son-of-a-bitch and make him flower our asses! lol.

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