REST IN PEACE
REST IN PEACE
by Ryan Ritchie
having been bitten by a poisonous spider once before
and
having a scar on my left arm reminding me of how much
pain I felt as the doctor lanced the golf ball –sized puss
from my arm,
you’d think I woulda just crushed the little fucker who
greeted me this evening inside the window sill
next to my bed.
but no. I didn’t kill the bastard.
I walked to the kitchen, took out
a plastic container
and did everything I could
to send his ass outside without
causing any physical harm, but
he shucked and he jived and
I just couldn’t get him
inside the Tupperware.
so I decided to let him live
because that’s what I do.
forget that I became vegetarian for ethical purposes.
forget that I later became vegan for ethical purposes.
forget that I don’t kill ants when they climb on my leg
as I’m watering the lawn.
and forget that I’m a grown man who has to change the channel
when I see those commercials about puppies in shelters or
cows being branded by asshole farmers.
I should have every right to kill these god-forsaken spiders.
but I don’t.
now the eight-legged creature from this evening will live inside
the crevice he found between the sill and the screen.
and when I go to sleep, will he remember
how close he came to death? or how I tried
to put him back outside.
nope.
the little shit’s gonna kill me tonight.
Do without (my response):
Pass a fist right through the mirror and curse it for cutting you. You make your own luck and force your own break-throughs.
Get to weaving the slender seams of the mirror in expectation of the threat it poses.
These are your faults. You have skin to split. It’s your fault you have blood that wants to spill from those cuts. If you had gone without there would be no sin.
Deny yourself and watch the world bleed for you. Watch the mirrors reflect your absence unbroken. Eat spiders in the fall with the babies she gave life to. That’s the only heaven.