inventing problems: what will happen next?

inventing problems: what will happen next?
by Meghan Tennison
weight lifted & thrown
over & across, beyond & past
weak knees
you know that feeling you get when you
walk into a room that you can’t
back out of (you can try to hide
in the shadows, but
only for 15 minutes, ’cause
all the cars are watching you thinking to yourself,
“where is the sun?”)
everyone hushes away the hunch that they were
previously conspiring risks to
break your chances at catching any
tossed&hurling luck-bombs
“i don’t like that fellow and i’m going to find a good reason why!”
shrug away your oh-wells
take me seriously, let our pupils
battle their tears out
if we have to
gurgling muddy puddles, organs getting dirty
if we have to
i can’t find a trace of a sketch of a nutrient
in your face
your coffin will be colorless if you
keep this up
dull cheeks crawling away from the
stench of angry bones
years of silent heart-twists
clogged spinal fluid, smokey eyes
shedding ashes
every morning he watches the weather to feel important
she watches tom & jerry, searching for something to laugh about
they haven’t danced in years
too many horrors behind steamy windows
boredom devastating the mood
loveless children desperately depressed
IQ numbers dropping with each
megalomanic spout that the rest of humanity is
inept, forgetting to
pray what we preach
i asked, “what type of mate are you attracted to?”
he decided, “a christian woman.”
i dove into the shark tank, a vociferation of exclamation points,
“but mom said that, no matter how optimistic i can pretend to be,
even if someone calls himself a christian, he could still stab me in my sleep!
do you agree that we are inherently evil?”
he glared at the greasy floor, “i am.”
i admire their energy,
“will you ever fulfill your heart’s desires?”
his judgmental finger taught, “probably not,
considering things&such because of who-knows&how-come.”
she scowled, “i will never enjoy what’s in front of me because
it’s never fair! it’s never the way i try to see how i can’t make up my mind.”
the sun is here!
come see.
beaming realization
i must love, no matter how much i hurt.
“it’s okay
always remember: you can do it, and
jesus loves you.”

0 thoughts on “inventing problems: what will happen next?

  1. Funny how our brains seem to seek out imperfection so that we always see the world thru shit-toned kalaideoscopes. It’s a long road discovering how to give ourselves peace (and peach snappes). Reminds me of something in a Thich Nhat Hanh book where he described how our mind can ramble within a wheel of negativity and dismal outlook–he prescribed a ‘stop-thought’ meditation for this–wow! It’s like telling your evil self to shut the hell up. Whether we are inherently good or evil may be explained in that we have the capacity for both and we must emancipate our free-will from the dungeon of determinism to do so.
    This piece infused in me an apt confession of the dynamic of struggle in ‘arriving at ourself’–an everyday process, it appears. I firmly believe in ‘humps’ (not to be confused with ‘humping’ [though that has its time, place, and usages])–or getting over a struggle that is inner but manifested outwardly–then an ocean of calm ensues for a random amount of time.
    The poem was a marvel to read and i appreciated the author’s variant expressiveness even including speech/dialogue at one point in the story-juncture of the work. Loved the delivery–just like a Vulcan mind-meld. lol. thx Ms. Tennison for sharing!

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