Saturday Morning
Saturday Morning
by Hugo Williams
Everyone who made love the night before
was walking around with flashing red lights
on top of their heads-a white-haired old gentlemen,
a red-faced schoolboy, a pregnant woman
who smiled at me from across the street
and gave a little secret shrug,
as if the flashing red light on her head
was a small price to pay for what she knew.
Awesome! i wouldn’t even mind if this poem was the first stanza to a 10 stanza poem. Some elaboration would have been even cooler–but that’s just how i run.
i hicupped (mentally)on line 3 after the one dash – hyphen where a list followed. — two hyphen dash would have worked better here but i know in the submission process that the word program deletes some of that stuff along with line breaks at times.
Anyways, i nevertheless liked the line on the pregnant woman and the inference handed to the reader: “a pregnant woman
who smiled at me from across the street
and gave a little secret shrug,
as if the flashing red light on her head
was a small price to pay for what she knew.”
To include a pregnant woman in a group of those who had made love the night before (with white-haired old man and red-faced schoolboy–very colorful!) is shocking, hence very effective. And when you use the word ‘pregnant’ before the mesmerizing spectacle of a world of knowledge and life lessons, it steers the reader into thinking of that word as an idea hence taking on a dual meaning where connections can be made. Very good! Thanks for sharing!