Witness (The Creeping Anxiety of Babies and Dogs)

Witness (The Creeping Anxiety of Babies and Dogs)
by Shawn Misener
I stand before you today
as a witness to both my dreams and yours
witnessing, as I slink
with a trail of slime and debt behind,
the methodical yet completely chaotic
reality of our very lives,
as well as the lives of others
witnessing that nobody
knows what the fuck they are doing,
even though they pretend to
this must be so confusing to dogs and toddlers
who, although living in relative ignorance,
must witness the act of humanity,
the ragdoll dance and clown face games-
they just hope to get through with a little love and attention
from their owners and parents and random human coo sirens,
but they cannot avoid that creeping anxiety
that we specialize in as a species,
that we specialize in transferring to our domesticated animals,
that we specialize in rubbing into our children like baby oil
I am here to witness dreams and nightmares
and the wreckage left behind like so many styrofoam Big Mac cartons
I am here to see colors
red for injection molded plastic firetrucks
white for pre-shredded and pre-seasoned mozzerella
and blue for my boxer briefs and the basketball god who endorses them
and hell
what is America if not Michael Jordan’s massive nutsack?
or Michael Jackson’s decaying glove?
or the red rage of Mel Gibson?