Hollow and Solid Chocolate Santas

Hollow and Solid Chocolate Santas
By Quasimofo and Halifax
For Haggard and Halloo Readers
(Merry X-mas!)

Sometimes i chomp into a Santa
head thinking it’s solid chocolate
but forget to read the package
which says “hollow” and i bite
my tongue spurting a powdered-
sugared blood-glaze atop dainty
nutbreads and fruitcakes.
Somewhere inside my mouth
the decapitated Santa is laughing
at me and taunting me with slurs
like: “I see you when you’re
you’re sleeping with sex-dolls!”
But then i chug down rummed
eggnog and introduce Santa
to the stomach acids lake-of-fire
Hell in my rumbly wish-list tumbly
(along with the Justin Bieber
X-mas CD i mistook
for peanut brittle)
and i get the last laugh!
Or do I?

Having unwittingly been seeded
by a Santa Zombie
(the nematode Dictoyvaulus Santus Clausii),
it’s parasitic head blooms in the chyme
to claw his way out my lower intestine,
treating my poop shoot like a chimney,
emerging with a grin that he has been
born again.
He then inverts my sphincter
(shoving my body inside it)
and swings me over a shoulder
(thereby completing his life-cycle).

It’s times like this i think maybe
naughty and nice       really     don’t
share the same fate…

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