bourbon in a garter belt

bourbon in a garter belt
by Cerebella
1
FIRST TRIMESTER
i can’t figgur out shiit
apparently!
bc!
i’m obsessedd w
psychoanalysis!
psycho!
hypnosis!
upon thy self-
walkie talkie zombie.
‘bitch (you know by now).
what i ask for
contradicts
the shit i dream
about eating
and continue eating’
said the id
to the
guitar plucking
as the mediator
instigated
free
will
upon me all
(the extinction
of innocence?)
and the master mind
never gave a god damn
about my balls
(they smell bad).
2
E FOR EFFORT
head is planet is secret is
mine is
mine, gold
mine i’ll never wear. possessive
king, red robe! dreamy dalmatian furs,
ohhh ha ha, never
mess with a mean mans hand of cards, baby.
he’s
purrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. otherwise, he
don’t make a sound.
he’s
so high on drugs
i’ve never heard of.
ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa.
‘lift my legs.
my ass is dead to the world,
as far as i know.’ says the i
that feels unable to handle.
point a, point b, point neglected-
blank stares at inanimates
all around the house,
some say incidental poker face.
eyelids rise. we still think
people think we’re creepy.
damnoldbrainfreeze.
we still have to try.
i hold my nose and dive.
still, the distaste
for going underwater
remains present.
3
INEVITABLE REGRESSION
there were hitchhikers in the 1970s,
bound to be caught by their parents.
some are war heroes,
waiting at a bus stop now-
lax in the breeze.
here comes the faulty radar-
1lucid but never livid.
2short attention span.
3spastic impulses.
4no birthright.
5broke but happy.
wait.
burden laundry list,
burn it down.
watch the grave
leak liquor.
meet marilyn monroe!
the blisters cool
ten seconds later.
they all they all
are life sized as
jumpy ticks jerk off tocks.
oh wait, once more.
it should not be hate.
calm down, stars overheat.
i wanna tell ya
(i can’t tell if i’m projecting,
i’m ambivalent about giving a shit)-
your fuse
hunches,
once the tallest kid
in school.
actualization (n)-
enlightenment (n):
knitted by
disillusionment (n)-
a. the shatter
of
jade
b. the acknowledgment
of
wounds.
detachment will sparkle-
awfully
porous in the roots,
aren’t we all?
we’re window shopping,
in love
with the crystals,
the gemstones,
the desire to believe
in their healing properties.
don’t you remember
stupid mistakes
are the easiest blessings?
didn’t
i
tell
youthat
when my mouth was open wide
?
no, wait again (sorry),
i lost my voice then.
i shook my head. periodically,
i nodded.
i dive into
mr. goblin shark, my old wise man
your blues saved my life.
you old wise man.
you old wise man.
your mentoring is impeccable,
your memory is elsewhere.
i don’t think
you ever had to learn
to let go.