by Harutyun Mackoushian
Spirit__66 —> rohi
Sand— my body.
The body of my friends…
/ / / / / / / / ?.
My eyes are what they are. Poet. Junky. Conflict. Excess sleep ? —> peace? Meditation on the star. Pentagram. —> life. Death — fast Zamer. Zamer + Razen= at the kitchen. Fast Zamer. Learning this: ice + rage= lifestyle. (Pentagram) (Reversed cross) calling my friends at the afternoon. Self-possession. Music. Films. (Interfering with cold). ? Cold+heat= ? – faces. Spirits (? ? ? ?) learn to praying words. Near-death experience. Freedom running from the cage —> free will —-> ? ??? ? light 12-66-77-66-99-1000
Still candle: still eye. Regular breathing.
……….. No existence.
666666 + ????? laughing. Fade my name= Ranzer. 1234567.181 518. Inner light i—>me. Silent_ _ _ blank pop — a pen to fulfill my wishes. I’m here—I’m there—rage—> fate me— IIIIII —> ? sun calling the name of my friends. 3
N A T ? 678888
This me in the circle. Smelling so cold. Facing my fate= Inertia. Resisting change. Fear. Lethargy. Petrification. Constipation. my will inside that circle. No new words. No new night. () I’m me. Him, her. Chaos. Hotel room. MADNESS is arising from my infinite darkness. To some point where our sour eyes meet in the darkness. In the cold. Calling my friends again.
6__25/112 _______ ? ???? 6
12+17= 27+31+29- emptiness ? void ? shadows of flesh moving ? rotating me in the middle ? middle eyes ? I’m here ? I’m there ? between young fresh fleshes. Razor AAA attack. Pale face. Dark candles. Bloody cup. Bread+blood= I’m there. I’m here. ??? sound to pray. Sound to surprise my being with slow purple colors. I’m enveloped with my cloak trying to recognize my angel. Numbers condensing my universe, 12345789101112131415171819202122232425272829303132 face screaming at my face. Retreated mind. At this domination. Colorful pyramids. Recognize the way I’m filling my existence. Mistake+fate=god. Dark god ? dark gods following my soul ? my hatred soul + at night in desolated place ? puke and nausea filling the room, changing+melting ? facing the wall ? sickness ? rage ? false dreams ? lacking ? a motive. My words are my being. Open your ey
es. interfered sounds – hummers-knives. 123456?45?calculating my numbers in a room-with furred furniture and candlestick with 6 sockets. Writing in new language – new atmosphere, screams – shouts. Unable to follow – and to catch the sound. Confined into the abyss. Violent kisses, morbid thoughts. Blur me-face me with your bottom. Master learning to play. Fat-fat monsters. Red blended with blood. Face blended with mask. I can’t see now. Starting writing in new language. Cold black bitter coffee left on the table. Influenced me by friends of mine. ? Circle I am. Recognizing now-new words. keep reading-face down. Face against the wall-(???) ??. – Christ- my face is clear. I’m throwing up at the sink. ???? —- AAA ? IS ESTABLISHING. ???????
I’m opening the window now; my eyes are closed, blindfolded with the bright light that blurs me, devours me with its dryness, all the eyes show like this-but panic-panic..panic from this speed dropping into this bright light..3+4 888- everything varies, everything spins..my fate shakes, corrodes, drunks, scales away myself. I watch this. Myself how is scaling away off me.
a submissive reply from a friend and he’s becoming more submissive and subservient. Working on chemicals at 8pm. Photographing before the candlestick a woman who’s on ecstasy. She’s on her knees, her back and her panties and the candlestick only shown in the photo. tags.
66666 the number that I agitate with, ??× I end it here ? very softly. I feel it. Out of will LLL. Damped with perspiration, chemical is working. ??? Nascent circle= eye + eyes. Brush away. cerebral gargles, I’m making a magic circuit. Blending now my skin with the color of the wall, pale yellow, deep into my eyes, fast ZAMER, ARGON, old friends terrified by the slow color of the wall, my skin. Here at the magic circuit I balance the liquids, I slit the eyes upward. ZAMER and ARGON are watching me. ?
Headset, and the radio on. Driving deep into purple eyes. Face-film ?. I mask my mouth with gauze and I do anal to her. Anorexic, suffering from anorexia nervosa; pathologically thin. Out cold, and marked by error familiarity ?. 33333 is covering my eyes, my being, my surrounding, engaging my whims, and sudden alienating aloofness ?? . Drowned recording restarting, disaffecting is reserving my form. ××? 2142012 smile, go beyond, look into dry eyes, and temptation to kill is overwhelming me..now, now, now. I’m going to choke the corpse that is lying on my bed. ??? and I’m alienating more, more, more ? I’m getting this circle, devastating me. ?? tyranny.
77789 dialling my fate, 12:11am. No pain now, no thoughts, no images, just I feel the tyranny that is circling me, surrounded by. RRRRRR noises. Eyes left, eyes right. 77789 changing me, profoundly and dramatically. And my love is becoming fickle and frighteningly conditional ??. Rosen cheeks, sweating wall= my skin. Smells= my flesh. Rope upside down my form, beg me to exist, fade my obligation and my desires ×. Roses, roses, roses, I’m the gardener, the gardener, pick me up, dial me again and again and again. ??? sugar, sugars, eating them all the night, till my mouth becomes sticky, euphoria from the density of the sugar that I’m eating, swallowing them, piece after piece, and my state of mind that ruled by tyranny of manikin is blurring me: t y r a n n y by a doomed m a n i k i n ?
Two bags of sugar, I’m on the way to euphoria, feel my place that I’m how I’m changing it, going through a process of personal evolution.. sugar, sugars ??? see myself dead in the morning, my eyes are shut, euphoria now. Chosen family, old friends, adopted girl, sex group at 66666666666 and I’m opening my eyes now, feeling cursed, abandoned, laughing endlessly. 1111. My mouth is still full of sugar, sticky like my skin, my eyes half open, can’t remember my face. Doom. Doomed by m a n i k i n. ?
Open, close, flint, rise, all are working, rumbling and reeling the shadow= face= my existence/blindly writing, blindfolded and bandaged.