If in the Panic Attacks
If in the Panic Attacks
by Joshua McDermott
If in the panic attacks,
if on sunny grass afternoon sleeps,
if skinny weird, I’m wild
and fires for you,
I’m blue robin egg ground blown,
I’m kissing your legs
out of love and
I’m bucolic raw determined
to be your man
for always.
I wanna always be your man.
if cut grass burn ditch
we’re tired, if Idaho
makes us mormon bored,
If cities tell us artistic christians,
I’m winged bird and chirping,
I’m hands on your hips and
speaking, I’m into you
for always. I don’t ever
wanna be your gone love. I
wanna be your old man when you’re older. I
wanna kiss all of your crazy
on it’s most private parts.
I wanna be always your
baby.
your baby always, I love
you blue robin egg,
I whistle.
all the lonely
bad feelings are gone.
I’ll bet we both
get tan
and love
forever.
we can love forever,
we can.
Not your old-fashioned love song, yet with so many elements of it: when you’re down, lonely, scared, I’m here to love you, take those feelings away, and make you believe our love can last forever. We have no use for established ways of thought. We don’t care what others may call us. We’re as natural as a green sunny day. The ungrammatical turns of phrase throw away convention in favor of a private world that couldn’t be more conventional and yet sees itself as entirely unique. Of course we all love it. It’s as pure, sincere, and wonderful as a “blue robin egg.”