“You Noticed It First”

“You Noticed It First”
by David Rutter

That’s what you say
Every damn time
“You noticed it first.”
As I’ve sat here
On this sofa
Trying to watch TV
My focus
Constantly pulled
To the pile of cat shit
Sitting on the rug
Watching you walk by
Again and again
Pretending
Not to see it
I just want to yell,
“Pick up that cat shit,
why don’t you?”
It’s your fucking cat
It’s your duty
But instead
On every occasion
I always ask meekly,
“Did you catch
That your cat shit
All over the rug?”
You’d just laugh
Passive aggressively
And reply,
“You noticed it first.”
Well, today
Will be different
You’ll come home from work
Walk into the kitchen
You won’t help but take in
The huge, steaming pile
In the middle of the floor
And you’ll know in your heart
That it’s far too grand
Far too majestic
For any kitten
To have ever accomplished
But what can you do?
You can’t just accuse me
Of so heinous a crime
But it will fester and gnaw at you
As you try
To cook dinner
Stepping gingerly over it
As you cross the room
Until, in the end
You can take it no more
Screw up your courage
Then say to me,
“Did you notice the poop
On the kitchen floor?”
And I’ll straighten my back
Look you dead in the eye
Smile the widest
Shit eatin’ grim
You’ve ever seen
And say,
“You noticed if first.”