June 9, 2014 admin

Wish I Had The Money He’s Making

Guest Writers

Wish I Had The Money He’s Making
Hell, Half Of It Would Do The Trick
by Doug Draime

She thought I was
the actor
Harvey Keiitel.
And I thought it was
some kind of joke,
at first.
I don’t think I look
anything like
Harvey Keitel.
But she was insisting,
thrusting a pen
and piece of paper
at me, shaking and
stammering.

I told her that I wasn’t
Harvey Keitel, and that I
thought I was much better looking.

She just giggled and said
“Oh, I knew you would
say something like that, Harvey,
I mean Mr. Keitel. I spotted
you, uh, well, I saw you when
you first walked into
the food.court, and
have been sitting over
there watching you eat
your tacos .I just can’t
believe it’s really you.”
Her eyes were filling
with tears, and I just
didn’t have the heart to break
the news to her again.

So, I smiled, asked her
what her name was
as I took the pen and
paper. I wrote:
“To Jennifer. Best regards,
Harvey Keitell”
As I was handing it back,
she said she’d seen
every one of my movies.

“I got a new one coming
out real soon,” I told her.
Her eyes got real big and
she asked the name.
I told her, “The Life And
Strange Times Of Doug
Draime”.

“How do you spell that last name?”
she asked. I spelled my
name and she wrote it down.
Then I got up and walked
away, just like Harvey Keitel
in “Mean Streets”.