The Disease

The Disease
by Michael Avellar

It always helps to start at the beginning and it is at the beginning in which we all wish to start. However it is of the authors’ opinion we are so far from the beginning it isn’t even possible to start there at all. I reckon as close as I can come is to try and ponder and find the single thought. Not THE single thought as if there were just one, but the single thought of the moment.

It must exist even though the mind seems to be crushed by thousands, if not millions of these individual flickers at one time. It is also the opinion of this author that regardless of how fast these many thoughts seem to be striking they hit in a consecutive nature. So based on this sound science, a pause mechanism of sorts, could somehow be created to isolate the single momentary thought.

Now if we can do that then perhaps we can come as close as possible to a true beginning of a story. This one thought is of the greatest significance. It feeds the next one more than being fed by the last. And if this thought holds this power I ascribe to it then we must question its origins? Where did it come from?

Well it didn’t come from you this is for sure! For the sake of conversation let us say this thought is a sentence and if we flicker the pause button fast enough to catch the next sentence the same would be true. Not a sentence of our own, excepting for the fact that it lies in our own heads. Do we have no original thinking at all? And what effect are these outside phrases having on our actions, will, and emotional stability? Surely some are genuine pieces of wisdom and most likely not spoken with any intentional malignancy. Though are they the ones I receive here or the ones they are getting in Eurasia? There is little doubt there is great difference based on the vast fluctuations of value systems.

‘This single thought is a belief and I act accordingly calling this my knowledge.’ What if I have the wrong single thought in my mind precisely at the wrong moment? I would sure hate to meet my demise do to misinformation. So there must be an internal quest for an honest to god right line of thinking.

How does one begin a quest on a battlefield of consciousness? Make it tangible of course! With the few words that were given me. I must imagine thoughts as soldiers or mercenaries and thought patterns, such as ideologies, as armies. And consciousness is a neutral, army less land, holding a magnificent resource desired by all soldiers, armies, and hustlers alike. Other people’s consciousnesses are surrounding provinces. Like all wars there are those who seek to destroy and those out to protect. As with all wars, who is who is in a virtual fog of unknowing. An enemy may not know he is your enemy anymore then you know if your friend is against you. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, for you must protect this light, this oracle from being bitten and smothered by thought piranhas.


Like all historically peaceful peoples and lands I was ignorant of the resources I had until years of growing attempts at exploitation. There were neighbors my same age, given similar thoughts, resulting in common conclusions and actions, and after a time invited just about any thoughts to entertain their oracles. The soldiers would be invited in with little to no discretion. Then there were those who came to wildly different conclusions from the rest and became more exclusive with their oracles and were even seen slaughtering thoughts I felt to be quite natural. Like the word, filled stories of their religious upbringings, or ideals dealing with countries or culture, and other such stories of similar groups of people and their histories which repeat themselves.

There were all types, truly original characters which took in all armies and garnered motivation from all sides. I couldn’t know myself or know which I was like or would be. I would not take long to figure some thoughts are manipulative distractions such as any pertaining to prejudices of people I never meet. So on that elementary scale I knew I had to train myself to be a warrior for my oracle, if for only to slay these types of cancerous thoughts. I had to seek out wisdom in the only way I knew how, by learning words from those I had been told were wise.

I want to live an inspired existence and in order to do so I must study the inspiration of the inspired. They came from all corners of privilege and limitation. No one group could claim them all and no régime of thought armies could stifle their growth. I had to understand my oracle better and train myself to protect it. I would have to become a mind ninja and I knew not where this would take me but I felt it wouldn’t be found among the peers of my current consciousness. And once you start thinking like that it is like drawing blood in the ocean for the sharks to smell. Once I started thinking this way it hit me that this is a legit war, perhaps the oldest war, the battle for the mind, the battle for the upper hand in that single momentary thought!


Once I started questioning my investigation shook to the roots of my core! Were my desires my own? Were my passions implanted? And if not and if so who’s fingerprints where on these desires and passions? This intense self examining helped at the very least to see the shape of others’ oracles around me. To merely raise questions against what was known as common thoughts began to vilify and ostracize me. To deviate from even the simplest of common attitude had me tagged as out of touch. Yet I could still hold my glowing oracle in my hand and watch others with theirs in a corner dulled and blackened by parasitic piranhas. Most hardly reached for theirs anymore and put their utmost self faith in this onslaught of new hosts.

Maybe I wasn’t learning or maturing but these that I speak of lacked any obvious true feelings or passions growing. It was as if their soul voice was now being filtered and directed. They seemed to be living out habits somebody else gave them, self preservation with no innovation. And how decayed their oracle looked or how much glimmer of hope you could see left in it made no difference to the one thought they had in the moment. The thought could make or break! It was obvious the more infected the harder for one to stay connected. The need for this connection to this oracle, this essence, has a value and power much greater then my understanding.

The provinces of consciousnesses where falling dark around me fast. I needed help! I needed to know if there was anything to what I was seeing along this path. I had to find and learn about these oracles that mutterings had denigrated into lucky, the one in a million, the bane of statistic. Recognized greatness, but whole lives of thoughts telling you these people are the great flukes, blessed by nature and connection. A pleasure to have but as a role model forget it! Odds are you can’t walk the same path, speak and feel those things at the same time. Their success obvious but their process never taught us.

By this time I had become instilled with a lot of beliefs. Thoughts I just kept thinking about and thinking about until they just stuck as perceived truths. Sabotage! Because somewhere I knew this level of attainment had a strategy. They are spiritual, special ops. They were not hand plucked but trained in a discipline we all have the makings for. They come from every background! So I had to learn to stop thinking and hearing by seeing and began to start isolating. And read and read!

I had to become my own general and create my own war strategy. I came to the conclusion there was only a slight gap between me and any type of person I wanted to be. A hiccup between me and any reality I wished to live in. It is obvious reality is hardly black and white and is dictated by thoughts and thinking. Each reality gives the consciousness the impression it has a monopoly on the truth. Each oracle is asphyxiated by imposed impressions. Impressions impressed with an agenda, an agenda out to engineer the individual, to stir the individual in the opposite direction, into a clotting of useless commonality. One huge manipulated diversion of self into a reality of fear and herd following. For who truly likes free thinking individuals!

It is a dangerous thing to take words and try to compose your own thoughts. Nearly impossible, to begin all methods of thinking must be retrained. You must distrust every thought in your head and listen hard to your internal dialogue. You have to envision your oracle diseased and in need of cleansing, a need of a wiping of parasites, parasites sucking your spirit, out to convince you of constant limitations. You are given a world of limitations and lack of faith not only in yourself but others as well, a barrage of statistics and ideas of impossibilities. If it was possible for just one then it is possible for all. There are no special people, only people of trained minds and clean oracles. You are what you think but to think what you want is a problem. Free thought is under attack!! The enemies’ strategy is to knock you out of alignment, to keep you off balance from your essence. And to maintain alignment comes down to the battle of control over that single momentary thought. That one thought creates your reality and the rest moves forward falling into place. Or falling to pieces depending what you allow yourself to hold there.

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