by BZ Niditch

In a flowing checkered mu-mu, the internationally broadcast TV reality show host Renata speaks over her microphone.

“Today we make history as our pilot series “Robot Reality show” broke all records. We know the controversial nature of our commercial free program featuring robot sex sessions and the lessons for us all. Yet it’s that time of the week as our guests and contestants come to us from all walks of life. We have included all races, all sexes,from the religious to sex addicts anonymous, to the homophile to the living necrophiliac robots. All may try their hormonal skills with our different robots designed by Dr. Ron Cage whom he recently added the S. and M. Robot and Mr. Dastard and his partner Sissy Birch. Now who is our first fit guest tonight, Philomena, give her a full robotized hand of welcome. Our first try out contestant to see who is most compatible with which robot is Bing Meriwether.”

Bing is about 6′ 6 an ex baseball player.

“I was injured in a hurting place.”

“What is your preference, Bing Meriwether.”

“Looking over the robots I like home gal Sal.”

“You mentioned your favorite books were “Gulliver Travels” and “Black Beauty” so we have teamed you up with Robot number 1,Sal,who will try to give you satisfaction from your hurting place. Two life guards now harness Bing with Robot number I Sally whom you see dressed in a pink taffeta rodeo outfit. Now let them go at it. Don’t be embarrassed big guy. Under the curtain we are all the same except for size and shape. Meet Robot number 1 Sally as she is now wound up. Take your time as this reality show lasts 24 hours a day. All the civilized world is watching and listening as our leading shrinks like Dr.Bulge and his partner Dr. Skulls with Ron Cage our designer have created this modern reality show of shows.”

The ropes of the curtain come down and Bing’s clothes come off, and now we head into the Pleasure Sphere on a bed of roses. None of the couples knows they are being recorded by public private and government spy agencies who want to recruit all the contestants. Sally allows Bing to enter her robot suited machine.

“Wow,this is living and I don’t have to prove anything.”

“How can I best entertain you, Bing?”

“Just go slow as I am in recovery.”

“How much shall I strip off right now, big boy Bing,you being the strong and and silent type.”

“Take it all off. I’ve been in a coma since I played the outfield and all other positions. But I got caught in the post game summary on the sports channel 24 camera when I lost all the balls sent out to me as I removed my glove”.

“So you had another hidden life?”

“The newscaster found me hiding nakedly in the dug out. But now I’m out with you,Sally. You can see I’m a man not a bat boy.”

Philomena starts up the robot puts Bing inside it. A few sexual sounds from the multiplex as an orchestra plays “Take me out to the ball game.” The camera moves away as Renata introduces the next guest, Leslie.

“Leslie you said you could not decide if you wanted to be entertained by women robots or male ones. You took our sex test with Dr. Bulge and Dr.Skulls and you appeared in personality and temperament as bisexual. We watched your intra-sex reactions to two of our robots number 2 very female and number 3 very male as we watched your member move and enlarge or discharge at the outcome and the results are not definitive. What do you prefer here Leslie Wood one of each?”

“I thought I was a happily married metro man and a well known stand up and late night talk show host with the highest ratings until George came on to me as my summer replacement and then my co-host. Then I felt I was missing only messing about with half of the human race. At least that’s the good docs told me after my hypnosis, analysis and diagnosis.”

“Don’t you have a mind of your own?”

“I try to process everything until I had sexual amnesia which brings me here was put on your sex blog and in an infra sex box for two months to improve my image.What do you think of my image? I had the highest ratings as a TV night host. I am Leslie Wood, after all.”

Leslie walks along the stage.

“Which robots have you chosen?”

“Number 5, Jan and 6 Anonymous.”

“Great choices.”

“Jan and Anonymous come out of your closet, and Leslie go behind the curtain,” as the curtain closes.

“I’m a little hot under the closet.”

“We have assigned you, Leslie, as a cosmopolitan composite of the modern metro man. So take your pull pill with mineral water and let’s have a fun time.”

“After five marriages and bloody divorces I’ve about had it with sex. The Daily Sun gossip columnist says I’m suicidal and I can’t face anyone in bed.”

“Leslie you have the four R’s our doctors told us before the show, rejection, resentment and rebellion and retention, all fatal.”

“I thought everything is private here, Jan.”

“Except to a femme fatal like me who invaded the good doctors office a half hour before the launching of the show.Now I propose to give you our pill pull potion and then if and when our climax happens at the end of the show and hopefully our ratings go sky high after you die from all our sex acts you will have our necrophiliac love with us as Philomena as our witness.”

“I’ll be damned. Let’s go for it.”

Leslie is positioned with Jan and Anonymous after Leslie literally dies our special necrophilia silent treatment appears on the screen. Our next guest Vera wants to go with S and M Robot number 6 and Mr. Dastard, number 7. Vera an elegant model gets into the double robot suit and her two fit choices emerge she is angry.

“I want my lawyer. I won out sexually over both the S and M Robot Mr.Dastard and my favorite Sissy Birch.”

“Our spies tell us you broke up the robot machine and jammed everything up. You will be held accountable,Vera.”

“Because they could not give me satisfaction or even to give love to each other. These machines have no emotion to give out.”

“Vera calm down, will you?”

She takes a fiery plug and sets fire to the set. Renata and Philomena announce a temporary cancellation of the show. Bing walks out on fire and goes after them.

“Give me back our pleasure sphere.I want to be inside Sal forever and the media has taken her away from me. I want Sal, I want robot number one.”

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