to an abandoned bandage on the cta

to an abandoned bandage on the cta
by Alexandra Weiss

chicago beat me up too;
moving here was like a punch in the gut:
slamming head into building
(this actually happened
a thick crust peeled off the bruise
weeks later) at night you tell me
come home plaintive sweet and warm

a cold clear pool with silty lake bottom
inviting squelchy texture
inviting me to disappear
visible leaves
a separate world for
desensitized things
white and clear ice
different thicknesses
on black water
scissors cut to triangles
abstraction on black water
smash it hard enough and
air bubbles get caught under the ice
as water shockwaves out and floods the scene

i lived in a canyon
in the wildfire’s wake
it turned to mustard
yellow baubles passing whispers of
missions up the coast
wrecking the chaparral
without you here
warm after winter excursions
all is vertigo perched in the fans gaze cast
at the searchlight on the roof so far below
at the floor so far below my bed
if i could lie flatter beneath
the blanket i would, pressed musta
from the nihilistic west