Pants on Fire

Pants on Fire
by Donal Mahoney

Rhoda, I can’t say why Amanda
was picked and not Tiffany
for anchor of our Nightly News.
I interviewed both
because Mr. Smith wanted
a woman’s opinion.
I honestly don’t know.

I made a recommendation
and sent it to Mr. Jones
who sent it to Mr. Smith
who made the final decision.
I found little difference
between the two.

A day later Mr. Smith sent Mr. Jones
a formal email with a copy to me
saying Amanda would be the anchor
and Tiffany would return
to morning news.
I’m glad it was not my decision.
I could have picked either.

Earlier in our careers, Rhoda,
you and I both did on-air TV and radio.
Now you write a media column
and I direct this program.
As women, we know
the demands of television
differ from those
of radio and print.

But I can assure you,
one woman to another,
despite what readers and viewers
may think, Amanda’s cup size
was never a factor.
Mr. Smith says if you put that
in your column, you better
believe we’ll sue.